"So, the Admiral tells all us graduating cadets to wear the super-tight, neck-killing dress collars-or else. Well, we did wear those collars---and nothing else! Boy, Mary, you'd have thought it was a Betazed wedding. Hey---you know--a lot of them were Betazoid, now that I think about it. Aaahhh-but its still a great story."

"Er, Mr. Grant?"

"Yes, Captain Richards?"

Mary gathered herself.

"What the heeeeelll are you talking about?"

"Oh, sorry. I was just recounting my pre-grad prank. Hey, I'll bet you have a doozy."

Mary shook her head.

"Nothing---toooo special."

Rhoda spoke up, as was her wont.

"Y'see, Lou, Mary had a bit of a breakdown right after finals. My Mom Ida, The Admiral, gave her a waiver on the psych tests, otherwise, she might have got held back."

Siliph took note of this, as did a passing TedBax.

"Intriguing, Mary. I suppose those psych probes can be distressing--for a Non-Vulcan, of course."

"Say, the Captain got by on knowing someone---maybe, next time we manage to contact Starfleet I should tell..."

TedBax stopped talking as Grant snapped an imaginary bone in front of the Talaxian. The look on Lou's face conveyed the message as well.

Captain Richards was livid.

"Lieutanant Morgenstern, report to my ready room--Nooww!!"

As Mary marched in, Rhoda followed, and kept her cool. T'Bes, half-human daughter of Siliph, was worried, though. "Rhoda--she really seems quite upset. Please be careful."

"Ahh, kid. Mar just needs to let off steam. Remember how I handled that Ferengi swindler, back on DS9?"

"Yeah--I kept you from punching his lights out."

Rhoda stopped.

"Oh, yeah."

The Captain emerged.

"Rhoda!"

"Coming, MA'AM!!!"

Siliph watched the pair go in.

"I could have warned her that today was not the day to test the Captain's patience."

Grant nodded.

"Why didn't you, then?"

"Oh, well, I don't care for her very much."

"I uh....see. Y'know, the first time I saw the Captain, I could see she had spunk. But we were pretty desperate, so I decided to follow her anyway."

Inside the Ready Room, the sparks flew as Captain Richards laid down the law.

"Rhoda----here it is. From now on, there will be no more Cheerleader jokes. From now on, no more setting me up for embarrassment, mild or otherwise. I honestly don't care if men gravitate towards either of us. Lastly, you will not relate stories about....why are you laughing at me?"

"Sorry, hon, but lets face facts. You are the primeval feeb of the Delta Quadrant. You're a tough Captain to outsiders, but in here, you're just Mary who cried when she got the letter that Rob Petrie found someone else. Hence, the title, Feeb. Now can we can this lecture?"

"Certainly. After an apology."

"Oh, Mar! You don't need to apologize."

"But you do, Ensign."

"Lieutenant, Captain."

"Ensign -- Ensign."

Rhoda threw up her arms.

"That's just great. You can't win an argument, so you pull rank and demote me. Now, your just a feeb trying to act tough--FEEB!!"

Mary smiled.

"Commander Siliph, please report to my ready room."

The door came open instantly. Siliph shifted.

"Oh, uh...I, really was NOT listening at the door. I mean, how could I--I mean I could, but....."

"Commander, please place Ensign Morgenstern in the brig—in solitary--for the next 10 days."

Rhoda did not know when to quit. "FEEB-FEEB-FEEB!!"

"Thirty Days! Do I Hear A Year?"

There was not a feeb out of the now vanquished Rhoda.

Once in the brig, she was visited by The EMH.

"Hey, Murray. My health is fine--except for my ego. I just threw away everything I built up with Mary for the last four years."

"Hey, you didn't throw away everything--just most of it. Kiddo, you're way stronger as a supportive member of this crew. Every time you try and strike out on your own, you end up at rock bottom. By the way, Joenat in Engineering asks how you are. When half-Klingons get lonely, they really get lonely!"

"Tell me about it. Hey, can the Counselor visit me here? Wait, what Counselor? Forget I said anything."

"Actually, I have something for you. Now that Seven is finally calling herself Georgette Hansen again, I have some spare time. I have
programmed--an ECH!"

Rhoda looked doubtful.

"Oh, what the hell?"

When Murray had gone, the Emergency Counseling Hologram appeared. He was of similar height and build to Murray.

"Please-please state the, uh, nature of the Emergency."

"I'm on a Federation Starship kajillions of light-years from home, and I have a biiigggg mouth. I tend to use said mouth to tick off my Captain and presume upon our friendship straight through to the breaking point."

The ECH nodded.

"That-that could tend to be a problem."

---------------------------------------------------

Next week on Voyager : The Cardassian spy Burnetta returns, with her allies, The Bunker Nistrum.

And, on 'The 1701st MASH', Kirok Kirk and Trapper John Spock are shocked to find that Colonel Pike's befuddled butt is on the line at a court-martial hearing. Have McCoy and Uhura finally gotten their uptight hands on Command? Not if Company Clerk Paul Chekov and master conniver Hikaru Sulu have anything to say about it. But can Kirok and T'rapper (sp) save Chris and his fishing hat in time?

Finally, a classic T*R*E*K* ep - 'Change Of Command'

Radar sat and meditated just outside the shuttlebay. He heard someone walk up--being a Vulcan, he just couldn't help it.

"Helloooo!!"

Ignored, the newcomer then clapped sharply and loudly. Radar was annoyed.

"Ahhh, go and clap yourself silly!"

Now, the newcomer stood Radar up, and looked him in the eye.

"Hello, Lieutanant. I'm Captain Potter. In the future, keep your meditation off the main way."

"But, Captain--Captain Blake always let me do it here, cause of the hum from the shuttle maintenance calms me down."

"Henry Blake served and died in the very finest tradition of Starfleet, son. But he's gone, now. I'm here."

Radar whispered well under his breath.

"Yeah, I'm seein' that."