Waiter, There's a Bug in My Soup
by Rob Morris

 
Miri was a great deal more cooperative these days-all of the Onlies were. To save their lives, the nigh-Immortality they possessed had been halved. It also led to a calming in their general demeanor. But for all this, Miri, like any other being, could only offer what information she had.

"I'm sorry, but all we remember is what I've told you. Weird people came, people from the stars, only they weren't like you. For a while, everyone got better. Some of them even went away with the star-people. Then they chased them away, because the star-people were taking us all for foolies. Some of the Grups used stuff the star-people had taught them to get even better--but they weren't as smart as they thought. Can I go take care of the Littlest, now, James?"

"Of course, Miri. Just don't strain yourself--in your condition."

"I'm going to have a Littlest, too."

Miri left, delighted by her enlarged stomach. Kirk watched her eave.

"Bones, those counselors...leaving two teenagers unsupervised, and that little rat.." Gee, uh, how do we know I did it". I'd like to ring his little neck!"

"Jim, none of these kids had survived puberty before. This was all but inevitable, and the Littlest are delighted that one even littler than them will be along. Miri's in heaven-til the first 2Am feeding, that is."

"Still, I can't help feeling protective...Spock, does what she told us help with your hypothesis?"

"Indeed it does, Captain. The 'Harvesters' as they were called, happened upon this 'Earth'. As per their standard procedure, they enhanced the planetary population. For a time, their harvesting went smoothly. People merely walked into their ships, thinking they were going to another world. Instead, they were pulverized and made into meal. When this duplicity was discovered, they were driven off, to find easier targets."

McCoy nodded.

"But that was hardly the end of it, Jim. Shortly thereafter, the Harvesters died as a race. So damned ironic. the had wiped out all known disease in their "cattle", but the arrogant slime never thought to look for unknown diseases."

So the virus that wiped them out was the equivalent of the Human Immuno-Deficency Virus?"

"Worse, Jim. Gestating in the meal-bins like that, hidden from their best scanners, it had become Strain 71 of Full-Blown Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome. At that strain wasn't wiped out til 2138!"

"So, their meal-tickets were instead, their tickets out. Their internal defenses wiped away because they were too lazy a species to use their own, richly-soiled world's agrarian potential. I hate irony...I really do. So this one document exposed their game, on this sad world. Spock, have you translated it, yet?"

"Yes, Jim, I have. Its title is innocuous, until you read inside, and realize that it is a detailed preparatory guide for the proper consumption of humanoid life."

"Damned thing. Its a cookbook, is what it is!"

"Doctor, I believe that is what I just said."

Jim stared numbly at the relic.

 "Its A CookBook!"

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Copyright 1999 Rob Morris
All Rights Reserved