Duncan :  Amanda! I've just received reports of sword-wielding lunatics of impossible longevity!

Amanda :  Duncan, that would be---us.

Duncan :  Oh, yeah. I was wondering why that rang a bell. But what about my sister!?

Amanda : You don't have a sister!

Duncan : My God, they've erased my sister!

Amanda : Forget that, here comes someone!

RC : Hi! I'm Richie Cunnigham of Milwaukee, Wisconsin. My brother Chuck just up and vanished, some years back, and...

Duncan : Ralph Malph and Potsie were driving drunk and hit him; They were hoping you'd forget he existed.

Richie C : Well, you know, goshdarn it, we kinda did...Oh, well. Thanx, guys! ( Leaves. In walks a policeman )

CW : Hello, I'm Police Sargeant Carl Winslow, and my daughter Julie....

 
 Amanda : Urkel shot her into space; Explosive decompression. It was quick.

CW : UUUUURRRRRKKELLL! ( Runs out )

Am: Where we headed now?

DM : Out to California!

 
           ANGEL GROVE, CALIFORNIA

DM : Look, kid! Play straight with us! We have evidence of local high-schoolers tapping into an alien energy field, while  calling upon animalistic spirits to gain a fierce fighting prowess. There are even reports of huge metallic creatures battling in apocalyptic style, wrecking the city, but never leaving a trace!

Tommy : I don't know anything, Mister Macleod!

Jason : No way, man, we're not into that stuff!

Kimberley : I have to be at, like the Mall!

Billy : My transdimensional energy wavelength detector-which I built ENTIRELY on my own, without any alien tech, would have picked that up.

Trini : Didn't anybody see me in Crow 2? It was a change-of-pace role! From child-icon to child-killer! Worked for Michael J. Fox's Dad!

D: ( Hurried, stilted voice )Amanda, they won't talk!

A: ( Lifts a clenched fist ) Lets do it!

Tommy : You can't do it here! This is Fox Kids!

D : Not that, ya great dolt! ( Pulls out a medallion, Amanda does the same )

A : Methuselah Stone!

D : Dragon Katana!

Tommy : No, you jerks! We've run out of Japanese footage!

D : Then we'll just have to use some from Hong Kong, saaaayy JOHN WOO!?
 

Headline : Haim Saban has today hired a new group of Power Rangers, the 50th set since the show began, late last week.
 

Duncan and Amanda each lost an incisor and a molar in the fight; But THE TOOTH IS OUT THERE!
 

NEXT WEEK ON THE MAC FILES :

 D : Reno Raines? Why on Earth did you kill Assistant Director Dawson?

Reno : Huh!? Joe Dawson? I thought for sure he was the guy who framed me for murder, Dixon!

D : Oh, not that old "Jim Byrnes looks like Steven Bochco" crap!

RR : Hey look, Mac! Is it my fault that USA accidentally edited the episode of my show where Gracen appears with one of your Amanda and Joe eps?

DM : The credits say "Film Editor, Lorenzo Lamas", so I'd have to say, YEAH!
 

I didn't make this! You didna see me! You can't prove anything!

Laterthanyouthink Productions