Chapter One - I Know Something About Love.........

USS Enterprise-E, 2273

The Computer and The CMO did not get along. This much was apparent.

"Your Diet Parameters do not allow for PineApple Cheese Streudel. Please make another selection."

Doctor Margaret Houlihan frowned.

"Computer, state my chronological age."

"You are currently Four-Hundred And Fifty-Two Years, Eight Months, and Twelve Days Old."

Margaret went again.

"State my metabolic status."

"Subject is at pinnacle of Terran evolution, due to experiments performed prior to The Eugenics Wars. Subject can lift over 50 metric tons, breathe in vacuum, has near-invulnerability, and can outhink fellow humanoids by 1000 paces. Physical abilities exceeded only by Pierce, Benjamin Franklin, spouse of subject. However, subject possesses superior mental acuity and intelligence. Subject and spouse are functionally Immortal."

Margaret smiled.

"Please review the fate of the last computer that -- unnecessarily --tried to regulate my diet!"

The Computer Paused.

"Would You Like Melted Butter On That Streudel?"

"Yeah--two bars. Plus a bacon cheeseburger, for later."

As the replicator gave in, Margaret cut herself and Deanna a piece, then stuck her tongue out at the computer terminal.

"Sorry....Dear!"

"You don't like machines, do you, Doctor?"

"Trust me, Counselor--the feeling's mutual. Data excepted, of course."

"That reminds me. Margaret, have 'The Boys' called from DS9 yet?"

"Nah. They're helping to overhaul an empty station. What with O'Brien, LaForge, and Scotty 'flushing out' the system's Cardassian sub-routines, we may never see any of them again. Data's playing assistant, Will's nicked Defiant for a few weeks, and my ball and chain is having fun looking for --and tripping-- booby traps Dukat might have left. That bunch is in male-bonding heaven."

Deanna was glad Will wasn't there. It would make this easier.

"Margaret, I have a problem. A character from the history books has come alive. Like a stupid little girl, I am nervous and, yes, even horny, around him. Just as Will and I are starting over, my attraction to this returned hero has me behaving like a complete fool. I believe its affecting my work, now. I came to you, hoping you'd understand. A Counselor has no one to turn to, in these instances."

Margaret reached out and held Deanna's hand.

"Kiddo, I understand completely. And I'm not upset."

"Er--you're not?"

"No, silly! Look, my husband is a handsome, powerful, vital man. Young women just naturally throw themselves at him. Wait a minute! HE BETTER NOT Have Responded, or I swear, I'll make a Capon----"

Deanna waved her arms.

"Margaret! It isn't Hawkeye I'm attracted to."

Margaret seemed to calm down.

"Why Not? Is There Anything Wrong With Him?"

Troi rolled her eyes.

"No, of course not. I'd take him in a minute."

"Ah-HA! I Knew It! After Four Centuries-- he's just as bad as Duncan! Men have no self-control. I'll talk to Samantha--my sister-in-law's a witch, you little homewrecker. She'll find out the----"

Doctor Houlihan breathed in, then smiled apologetically at Counselor Troi.

"I---get a tad jealous. Sorry, Dee."

Deanna chuckled.

"You? Jealous? Perish Forbid, Margaret."

"Ok. So who is this mystery date?"

Now it was Deanna's turn to breathe in, and gather her courage.  She looked Houlihan in the eye. Margaret winced.

"Dee, I'm no bigot. But I was raised in a century where...."

Deanna gave up.

"Its not you either, Doctor!"

"Heh. That whole statement must have sounded a lot like I was denouncing..."

Troi grabbed the superhuman by the shoulders.

"Margaret, Its Jim! I'm In Love With Jim Kirk. I have been, since I was a kid."

Doctor Houlihan gulped.

"Oh....good. Its not me, or my husband. Its only our Captain--who just also happens to be......."

Deanna nodded.

"My Mother's Boyfriend."

Chapter Two - If That Boy's Got Into Your Blood......
 
Margaret Houlihan tried to offer Deanna the best advice she knew.
 
"Tell Him."
 
Deanna shook her head.
 
"That's It? Margaret, there are a billion complications in all this. He is my Captain."

"But you want him."
 
"He's only two years out of that chronal limbo."
 
"But you want him."
 
"I am rebuilding my relationship with my heart, my Imzadi. To jeopardize that for a lustful fling seems madness."
 
"Do I have to say it again? Deanna, once, way back, I gave in to an attraction that I couldn't help. I still can't help it, 400 years later. When I went to bed last night, Hawkeye wasn't there. That, Counselor, is my definition of Hell. Take the plunge, kid! What could you possibly have to lose?"
 
As both Doctor and Counselor left to resume their duties, Deanna Troi decided she indeed had nothing left to lose. After all, Kirk could only say no. Sometimes, though, 'No' is in how its said.
 
On the Bridge, she made her first move while Kirk reviewed counter-measures to the Maquis' Badlands Strategy. If he could capture Eddington, Sisko would owe him a lot of steak dinners.
 
"Something to say, Counselor?"
 
Deanna gathered herself.
 
"Dinner, sir. My place. Tonight."
 
Kirk smiled.
 
"I'll be there."
 
Deanna gulped.
 
"You will?"
 
"Of course. I've been meaning to corner you anyway, talk out some things about you--and me."
 
"Ah. Very good, Captain. I'll go and start preparations now."
 
As she left, it was all she could do to keep from jumping for joy. Her impossible dream was about to come true. A foolish, lonely adolescent girl was getting the one she fantasized about. But as Khan Singh once said, fantasies are funny things.

"Baked Potatoes and Deimosian Meatloaf with Corn On The Cob and Apple Pie, Computer."
 
"You are currently restricted----"

"Doctor Houlihan's authorization."
 
"Should the Apple Pie be ala Mode?"
 
Deanna smiled, but had a strange thought.
 
"Computer, upon whose voice engrams are yours based?"
 
"This unit has the amalgamated voices of Doctor Christine Chapel and Jamellett, who was First Officer of The USS Enterprise under Christopher Pike."
 
"Oh, never mind, then."
 
Then, he arrived, looking better than he deserved to. Deanna bade him sit, and they ate the meatloaf that was a specialty on Mars' second moon. Kirk ordered desert.
 
"Computer, Mint Chocolate Mousse, with whipped cream."

"Captain, you are currently restricted from indulging in such a high-fat dish."
 
Jim tapped his fingers.
 
"Doctor Pierce's authorization."
 
"Request granted. As of 1701 hours, this unit is disabling the dietary restriction subroutine."
 
Jim and Deanna were unnerved by the cheers that went up across the ship.
 
"Ooh, Jim. This is a really rich variety of Mousse. Err, you said you wanted to...corner me?"
 

"For a while now, Deanna. I have something I've been dying to tell you, and tonight's the night. Its about how close we've become. I'm prepared to take us a step closer."
 
At that moment, the smile on Deanna's face and the joy in her mind would have her so ecstatic, she might have said, 'Will who?'.
 
"Jim...Any step you want to take is alright with me. Besides, I was hoping that our budding friendship could lead to....... something more."

Kirk held her hand in both of his.

"Dee, will you help me to practice what I'm going to say to Lxwana? I want to do it right."
 
Deanna felt a bit guilty about her mother, but this was her turn to be flighty and a little selfish. Her mother would have to understand--or not. It didn't matter.
 
"Practice away, Captain."
 
Kirk got down on one knee.
 
"Lxwana, I want both you and Deanna to be a part of my life."

Troi got a sick feeling.
 
"Go on---James."
 
"Lxwana Troi--will you marry me?"
 
Deanna felt her jaw drop and felt like her eyes were shooting a meter out of her skull. She started to cry, just a bit, while looking at the lover-that-wasn't. The Counselor then said/asked one thing.
 
"Daddy?!!"

Deanna Troi was crestfallen. Her new Captain, James T. Kirk, had just proposed marriage. He just hadn't proposed it to her.

"So, Dee? What do you think Lxwana will say?"

The Counselor was tired of missteps, missed cues and having her childhood fantasy man walking around in front of her, not knowing. So she told him.

"Take Me!"

Jim smiled.

"Deanna! She always says THAT. My God, I haven't been with a woman who wanted to compete with me since Uhura. We weren't the lifelong lovers some people seem to think we were. But like your mother, she knew how......she knew how. Now, take Janice Rand. On the Bridge, the perfect officer. But in private, a nervous adolescent in awe of the hyped-up jerk in the yellow shirt. But not your mother. I don't outrank Lexie, and she has no issues like David's mother. For the first time, I can't even conceive of being with another woman."

Deanna sat, and felt her heart break. She slapped her Captain and would-be stepfather.

"I Hate You!"

Kirk's reaction to this was surprisingly restrained.

"I understand, Deanna. You must fear that I'm trying to replace your father. Well, that's not the case. Not at all."

Troi gave up.

"I don't want you to replace my father! I want you to replace Will Riker!"

Jim may as well have still been in the Nexus, in many respects.

"Why? He's the finest First Officer In The Fleet."

"No! Jim, I wish to get naked with you."

"So do I. A traditional Betazoid wedding, through and through. Hell, we'll do it right there on The Bridge. But---we'll tell Spock it’s a Terran wedding, then he'll show up, and we'll Moon him as he comes out of the turbolift!"

There was pure rage in The Betazoid Counselor's beautiful eyes.

"How the hell did you ever beat The Romulans?"

"No, no. Old war-stories are for another day. So, do you think she'll say yes?"

"Jim, you said you wanted to Moon Spock? Welll....."

Furious at the lack of success she had baring her heart, Deanna bared her body as a stunned Kirk watched.

"Welll....Here's The Moon, The Sun, and Gemini rising!"

Certain he would finally catch on, Deanna threw herself onto her bed, and patted it seductively.

"Counselor, if you're tired, I can leave. I mean, that's an extreme way of showing me the door. I can take a hint."

The last straw is always the roughest. Deanna roared.

"IF you could take a hint, we'd be having sex by now."

Jim sighed.

"If YOU could take a hint, I would have no idea what your mother must have looked like naked, thirty years ago. Deanna, honey---put your things back on."

Her Captain's words struck her like thunderbolts. The final humiliation had hit her. Jim knew full well of her interest, and had been trying to let her down, easy.

"You don't want me. What are you, crazy? Look at me. I'm gorgeous."

Jim walked over to her, put his hand out--and honked Deanna's nose. Suddenly, the would-be naked seductress felt like a 3-year old that had run out from her bath. He handed her a robe, which she finally donned, sniffling.

"Sir, please go. I've humiliated myself enough. I'm sorry--I'm so sorry. It will never happen again."

Kirk then put his finger under her chin, and wiped her tears away. Casually, he undid her robe and took in her beauty.

"I would have seen you like this at some point, Dee. Your mother's love of hot springs guarantees that. And you'll see me. But skin isn't the problem, is it?"

He closed the robe, and bid her sit back down at the dinner table.

"Now, suppose you tell me what this crush is all about. Cause' I can't figure someone like you wanting an antique like myself."

"That's hardly fair! You're a handsome, dynamic man, not much older at your 'death' than poor Captain Picard was when he assumed command of the D."

She breathed in. It was Truth or Dare, and she had chosen truth.

"I was a lonely teenager who had lost her father. I wasn't a full telepath, and I wasn't yet a full figure. Then, my father's sister bought me a holo-partners program. I swore I'd never use the damn thing. Within a week, I was booting up illegal images of public figures. That was how I found you. I had started with quite a few, but always backed off and was afraid to continue. When I went to turn your image off, though, you asked me not to. Then, you asked me what I wanted. Mother was always making plans for me. So was everyone. But not you. With you, I made the plans. You rubbed my back and I fell asleep. The world, once chaos, now had order again. For the first time since my father's death, I felt safe. Later, when we--the image and I--were together, I felt like a goddess. I was then able to handle my 'filling out' with perspective. I had confidence, self-esteem---because I knew, that, at least, the perfect man had once existed, and I might find him again. The program finally destabilized. That same day, my cousin got married and I met and fell in love with one of the wedding guests."

Kirk nodded, knowing the rest from talks with Data.

"A Starfleet Officer named William T. Riker. My XO and I have a somewhat similar approach to things, including putting career ahead of happiness sometimes."

Deanna felt an odd shift as Jim spoke. The heat she had felt in one part of her body regarding him slowly became a precious warmth felt in her mind and in her heart. The Counselor then analyzed her own emotions.

"Since you assumed command of the E and especially since you started dating my mother, we've talked--about everything. About how our roles limit us. About how people underestimate us, or then expect too much. How they expect us to forgive every transgression---"

"But WE had better not ever screw up. Then, how people keep judging us by the amount of partners we've amassed, despite our supposedly 'enlightened' era. Dee, we've kayaked, explored, and traded mind-meld stories. We both love your mother, but she drives us crazy in different ways. Plus, there's a seemingly unresolvable undertone of sexual tension that's both fun and taboo at the same time. Finally, Dee, I've taken a huge interest in your career and happiness, and you feel safe in my presence. So safe, you made a pass at me in the nude--knowing I would never take advantage of you---"

She completed the thought, and felt better than she did after some nights of passion. A connection had been made between Captain and Counselor. Just not the one Deanna had thought she wanted.

"You would never take advantage of me--because a good Father never would. You and Lxwana-already exchanged vows, didn't you--Daddy?"

Jim helped conclude the evening.

"I've had lovers, Deanna. I've also had a son. Will you please be my daughter?"

In a rush, Deanna bolted from her chair, and she and Jim embraced.

"Mother has remarried before. But I was an afterthought. A burden to them."

"Two things, Dee. One, having you as my child in name is a good part of the reason Lexie and I exchanged vows by subspace, a few weeks back. I want to be as much your Dad as circumstances allow."

She felt so free and airy, like a little girl again. If David Marcus and Ian Troi looked down upon this scene, they did so with great happiness for old wounds healed.

"What's the second thing, Dad?"

"Darling girl -- your robe fell off again."

She kissed him on the cheek.

"We're a largely raw family, Jim. Either strip down or get out."

"If we can access that mudbath program of your mother's, we have a deal!"

Jim left to meet her on the Holodeck. Deanna shrugged.

"I never knew how much I missed having a father. Then again----"

She slipped a covert surveillance recorder inside her clothes as she went.

"...As they say, if one can neither obtain nor touch Paradise, then one must settle for the viewing. Note to self : I have a tragic case of Oedipus' complex. But I think I'll live. After all, I am the chosen daughter of James Kirk!"

Later, at the mud baths, Deanna felt safe as she had once, a very long time ago. Then Jim spoke up.

"Deanna, we have two problems."

"And those are?"

"Do you like Peter and Saavik?"

"Mmhmm. They are family, after all."

"Did you sense any kind of bad intentions from them, back on Earth?"

"Not a one. Why?"

"Honey, I think that those two are both very good people."

Deanna sensed the rest.

"But you think they are not who they say they are? Dad, who are they?"

Jim shook his head.

"I'm not sure, except for one thing. They are not Peter Kirk and Saavik of Vulcan. And Yet---They Are."

Deanna sensed he believed what he said.

"What's the second thing?"

"I--have to get up and get dressed--but seeing you get in the tub has caused
some complications."

She laughed.

"Oh, get up, you damned prude!"

He got up, and her laughter started again.

"Don't mock your Father, Deanna."

"I'm not. Far from it. And One Thing's for Damned Certain, Pater---Mother will NEVER start calling you 'Little One'."

That night, in a less ambiguous atmosphere, Captain James T. Kirk came to the quarters of Counselor Deanna Troi---and read her a bedtime story. It was the story of a how a boy named David beat an evil warrior and lived to become a King. The woman slept, knowing that the hands she felt on her blanket were only tucking her in. This was a new aspect of life aboard The Enterprise-E.

Epilogue 1 - Earth, Iowa

Peter Kirk awoke from his sleep suddenly. He immediately placed a scrambled subspace call to Admiral Saavik, his wife of 60 years.

"Yes, Husband?"

"Wife--He Knows."

The older couple then spoke two words together.

"Oh---Shit!!"

( A story for another day )

Epilogue 2 - Deep Space Nine

Hawkeye Pierce was skilled enough to use Ops, and took the recorded message.

"Hey, Scotty, Data, Front and Center! Our CO's gonna need us, cause what's on here could give Surak the sweats."

"We are here, Doctor Pierce."

"Aye, Benjamin. What could so give Jim Kirk pause?"

Geordi and Miles listened in, since what concerned their friends concerned them.

"As you know, I've always had a thing for blondes. But this one could have me giving them up for Lent. Watch--and try hard not to gulp, cause its pretty bad."

The Blond-Haired Romulan stepped onscreen.

"Greetings, Kirk. I am Sela, enemy to your predecessor, Jean-Luc Picard. You have many crimes to answer for on Romulus, yourself. Surrender within one month or face the consequences of not."

Sela stared blankly, then started again.

"Er---Of Not Failing To Surrender. That is, fail to face the consequences of our crimes, and someone will pay."

She looked around on the recording.

"Ok. We're going to start over. You, Kirk, surrender within one month, or, you--you being Kirk, not us--will face horrid consequences. Or rather, you will not."

Hawkeye shook his head.

"Romulus must be run by Frank Burns."

"This is Sela. Ok. Kirk must surrender, or Doctor Leonard McCoy will be executed."

They all rolled their eyes.

"I have been informed that Admiral McCoy has passed on. Our sincerest condolences. Therefore, he cannot be our prisoner. Instead, our prisoner is Captain Montgomery Scott."

Geordi looked at the screen.

"The Romulans will conquer us. Because-they-are-smart-and-they-are -strong."

"Don't joke, lad. I have to go there and rescue me! I may break under tor-horrrrturehahahahh!!!"

"Guys, it gets lots worse."

"Kirk will surrender within one month or Ambassador Spock will die!"

There, indeed, onscreen, was Spock, being tortured.

"Jiiiimmmm!!!!"

Hawkeye turned it off.

"Whoever this Sela is, she has a lousy punchline."

Data nodded. Scotty was too shaken by the sight of his old friend being harmed.

"Captain Kirk must be informed as soon as possible."

ROMULUS

Sela grinned.

"Soon, Kirk will hear our message, and make arrangements to meet with us. Toren, how long did it take you to edit out those errors in the recording?"

Toren's face grew horrified.

"But doesn't that recorder have a self-edit feature?"

As Toren was dragged off, Sela reflected upon this snag in her plans.

"Oh----Shit!"

( Another story for another day )