James T. Kirk, the once and present Captain Of The Enterprise, was under a form of assault, and had been for almost two hours. This was bad enough as it stood. But the thought that one of his senior officers placed him in this position was even worse. Deanna Troi would pay for this betrayal---somehow.

"Well, how was I supposed to know that it was the anniversary of Kahless' victory over Moloch? I mean, those Klingons don't have a single day on the calendar without some aspect of his life being hooted for."

Then again, Jim reasoned, perhaps the poor Counselor had been punished enough. After all, the talkative Lxwana Troi had raised her. Just as his patience was all exhausted, a mixed blessing came over his com-badge. "Private message for Captain Kirk; Transferring to quarters."

"Excuse me, Ambassador Troi. But I'll be answering this, for now."

"Its all right, Captain. I'll wait."

Jim frowned.

"Yes, you'll wait. You'll wait outside. This is a private message." Lxwana shrugged.

"Oh, Posh! I'll just see it in your thoughts, later on." This time, Kirk was a bit more blunt.

"Ambassador, get out of my quarters. Captain Picard may have deferred to you out of respect for your title and relation to a valued officer, but I cut my teeth kicking self-important diplomats like yourself where it counts!"

Troi's reaction was not kind--rather it was in kind. "Oh, they all were right! All my fellow ambassadors told me that the rebirth of Kirk meant the death of diplomacy in this quadrant. Go answer your call, Kirk! This disrespect will show up in your record. Mark my words on that."

"Which words? You've spewed out over ten thousand in the last hour alone."

Not giving her time for a rebuttal, Kirk went to his monitor and answered the message. It was his nephew, Peter, now almost one-hundred and twenty years old.

"Jim, I've got good news and grief to share. First, the good news. Blake Pierce contacted me, and told me her folks have agreed to be your new CMO's. Also, Saavik and I are adopting three sisters, Bajoran-Cardassian refugees. Cute as buttons, and anxious to meet their famous great-uncle Jim. My wife, The Admiral, is placing flowers on David's grave today, since an inspection of the Romulan frontier will have her away on his birthday. My nerves are finally shot, a result of those things that killed my folks on Denev. I'm having them replaced. No biggie."

The physically older man on the screen could never know what a comfort his face was to a time-lost uncle. That he and Saavik had been married for the last sixty years was another source of comfort. Their lack of ability to have children of their own meant that over twenty unwanted hybrids called the pair Mother and Father. Telemachus, the eldest, a Vulcan/Klingon, was the most balanced being Kirk had ever met, and somehow had 'inherited' Sam Kirk's twisted love of practical jokes.

"That's great, Pete! Oh, before I left on the 'B', you were working on a project--- the origin of the Denevan Plague Cells, if I recall." Peter nodded.

"Happily, the creature they came from died on Old Earth in 1999. It was destroyed by The Gojiran mutates. If they hadn't killed it, let's just say history would be a lot different. Now for the grief, Uncle Jim. Beverly Crusher also gave me a call. Admiral Uhura died this morning. My Sweet Lord, she was beautiful. I don't know anybody who didn't love her. Pavel is standing in for us all at the service. Poor fellow. Released from cryo a day, and this happens. When I spoke with him, he didn't seem himself. Jim, I am so sorry. I have to go. Saavik's arrived home, and I have to tell her, too. She so admired our Nyota."

As the screen lost Peter's image, Jim just sat and stared. Lxwana was still there. She spoke gently, this time.

"It never gets any easier, does it?"

Kirk barely knew Lxwana Troi. For right now, though, he thanked God Almighty he wasn't alone when he got the news.

"No. It Never Does."

Silence reigned as the two sat for the next long hour.

----------------------------------
"Nyota, I......"

Beverly Crusher screamed when she saw her old friend, Admiral Uhura, slumped over her desk. That scream brought Hawkeye and Margaret Pierce running. Over their 450 years of life, the couple had developed powers and abilities well beyond most humanoids. With eyes that could detect and utilize the X-Rays that bombard the Earth, Doctor Margaret Houlihan-Pierce nodded to her husband, and confirmed the worst. Hawkeye held the shaking Beverly. The wise-cracking near-immortal surgeon remembered the accident of time that had created the 1701st MASH during the Korean War. He remembered making love to both the woman he held and the woman his beloved wife was checking for any last signs of life. Just not at the same time. He remembered how nervous Uhura had made him feel. 20th Century racial trash-thinking almost caused him to overlook this amazing woman. Why Kirk never married her was beyond him. But then, he himself had almost let Margaret slip away. Hawkeye spoke briefly at the funeral, the next day.

"I'm gonna steal right from Jim's book. Because of all the souls I've known, hers was the most--human. If I had not married the very smart, very tolerant Margaret Houlihan, and if I had not then ended up marrying my stepsister, this lady, whose name meant 'freedom', would have been an easy third. I've known Margaret since 1950, and Samantha since 1960. Continuously, that is. I knew Nyota for a month, and I was with her for a night. The memory lingers. She was like that."

In the aisles of the chapel, the man who appeared to be Pavel Chekov shuffled and shifted. Partly this was nerves over the speech he had to give, in memory of Admiral Uhura. The other part derived from the fact that he was not Pavel Chekov. No, his name was Alfred Bester, and he was Chekov's twin from a parallel universe. He had replaced Chekov in order to learn about the telepaths of this universe, and then use that information to aid his own cause, back home. Things rarely went that smoothly, though. The Doctors Pierce were unscannable. Beverly Crusher had been subjected to an artificial psi-link, scrambling her mind to him. Bester had failed to take into account that the presence of so many more Psi's in this cosmos would naturally lead to more psi-resistants. He got up to make his speech.

"Can anyone ever really know anyone? Pavel Chekov served with her for so many years, but I feel I don't know her at all. I hear stories of her and me, but its a lot like they happened to someone else. That's how badly misplaced I feel, right here and now. I was--counting on this dear lady to help me find my way in this strange new world."

For dramatism, he threw open the coffin.

"I look now at this empty coffin, and I say to Uhura's memory---why is this coffin empty?"

As all gazed in confusion at this sight, Chekov/Bester withdrew. Retreating to his quarters, he too wondered why there was no body in Uhura's coffin. Trying to think of ways to salvage this mission, Bester drank some coffee, to stay awake.

"Well, Alfred--at least this day can't get any wor........"

He promptly fell asleep.

Awakened a few hours later, he saw a man in a tight stance in front of him.

"Greetings, Captain Chekov. You are currently enjoying the hospitality of Section 31. We have a mission for you, which we will soon explain. Any questions?"

"Uh..You are a super-secret spy organization involved in dirty but necessary dealings on behalf of this government? Is that right?"

Sloane nodded.

"Very astute, Captain. Not to mention well-put. We'll talk more later."

When he left, Bester thought three words to himself.

"I HATE IRONY!!!!!!"

---------------------------------
BORG SPACE, DELTA QUADRANT, 2372

"The Degeneration?"

"Reversed. Human inefficency declared this one irretrievable. It was no challenge."

The form stirred, moved, and looked calmly at the Borg Queen.

"I am functional again?"

"Indeed."

"Am I again spokesdrone for the Collective?"

She smiled.

"And more."

"Then make it so. Resistance Is Futile---Jim. Now and Forever, I am Locutus Of Borg."

The thing that was once Jean-Luc Picard then began its task of bringing its birth-species into the Borg Collective.

-------------------------------------------
ROMULAN PENAL COLONY

The woman known as Sela never received official visitors. After two massive failures against the Federation, she was quite lucky just to be alive.

"Agent Sela?"

"Yes, ProConsul?"

"The Tal'Shiar, whom you have failed so badly, need you once more, and so offer you a chance to negate your disgrace. Do you accept this undeserved chance?"

"Gladly, and with gratitude. My target is Picard, I take it?"

The ProConsul smiled.

"Picard---is dead. He died protecting an obscure world named Veridian Three. But in his death-throes, he managed to resurrect a far more terrible foe."

Sela shook her head.

"Worse than Picard? How is that possible?"

"There was once a man who could second-guess our best, and who successfully stole our technology. Picard brought the crafty one back, damn him!"

Sela smiled broadly.

"Then my target is James T. Kirk. 'Brother', to he who aided Picard in thwarting the Senate's will on Vulcan Reunification. Then Spock will know the pain, as well. Rest assured, ProConsul. Kirk's comeback shall be short-lived."

Sela was thrilled. Not only could she regain her status, and gain much glory, but she might even be able to deal with the dull ache she had felt for many years. The ache that came from somehow still being able to hear the agonized screams of her late mother, Tasha Yar.

------------------------------------------
SECTION 31 BASE, LOCATION SECRET

For Pavel Chekov, freshly released from sixty years worth of cryo-stasis, the day had presented something of a dilemma. Firstly, the death of his old dear friend Admiral Uhura had been compounded by the fact that someone had stolen her body. Secondly, he had been kidnapped by the secretive Section 31, apparently to conduct a mission on their behalf. Lastly, but not leastly, he himself was not Pavel Chekov. His name was Alfred Bester, and on an alternate Earth he was the head of Psi-Corps, a group that openly wielded the kind of authority that Section 31 wielded in secret, here. Dedicated to the cause of telepath supremacy, Bester had changed places with Chekov while Pavel was still in cryo. Since this universe appeared to have a greater variety of telepaths, studying them secretly under Chekov's guise would bolster his cause no end. But now he had been kidnapped by people more his own kind than some members of Psi-Corps.

"Life Stinks."

The agent who addressed Bester/Chekov earlier returned.

"Well, Captain! Any questions before we give you your assignment?"

Bester had plenty, but kept it to one. "Vhy, yes. Have you people ever considered going overt? That is, saying to The UFP, to hell with you, you need us, and you had better accept that and how we do things?"

Sloane laughed.

"Captain Chekov! No disrespect, but that is the dumbest idea I've ever heard. Overt, the Council would move against us, and we would spend half our time countering their movements. Plus, I myself would probably end up in a game of brinksmanship with someone like Benjamin Sisko of Deep Space Nine. I'd reduce my status while enhancing his. Heh! Jerk would probably end up Federation President, and I would have put him there. Overt. Heh."

Bester felt three inches tall. "Thank You for answering the question so wery fully."

"No, thank you. That's the best laugh I've had in a while. Anyway, your assignment is a simple one. Since your entry into stasis, the number of telepaths in The Federation has multiplied significantly. We want you to catalog as much information as possible on them, since no one will suspect you of anything. Get whatever you can--covertly---hehheheh--and overtly. God, Overt! We'll supply you with the necessary tools, of course."

Bester's heart jumped. His mission could now move into high gear, with the secret police of the UFP aiding and abetting him. "Agent Sloane, I vill do it--vith enthusiasm."

"Good, glad to hear it. Oh, we injected an anti-psi chip into you. It'll keep your study subjects from being able to fully scan you. You'll just tell them that Ambassador Spock taught you some mental disciplines. Any other questions?"

Bester's heart sank.

"Vhat--vould this chip do if it vas somehow injected into a telepath?"

Sloane shrugged.
"Negate their own psi-abilities. Why?"

Alfred Bester had been wondering why the psi-world was suddenly so quiet. He was in a strange universe investigating telepaths as a psi-blind. He really did hate irony with a vengeance.

"No reason."

----------------------------------------------
ALTERNATE UNIVERSE, BABYLON 5

Sheridan shook his prisoner savagely.

"Psi-Corps isn't here right now, Bester! I want to know why you waltzed onto this station with impunity. Oh, and, by the way, you racist, war-mongering psychopath, that CHEESY accent isn't fooling anyone."
 
Pavel Chekov had no idea what the hell was going on, but Sheridan had crossed the line.

"You Mind Your Tongue, Meester! MY ACCENT EES NOT CHEEZY!!"

Full of rage, Garibaldi waltzed up and belted Chekov into unconsciousness
.
"Shut your useless mouth, Bester!"

He smiled.

"Damn that felt good....except for one thing."

Sheridan nodded.

"You're not supposed to be able to hurt Bester."

As some tests were done, and their results came in, Sheridan and Garibaldi spoke as one on the subject of the man they thought certain was Alfred Bester.

"Oh.....Shit."

----------------------------------------
LOCATION UNKNOWN
She awoke to find a familiar red tunic waiting for her. Peering in the mirror, she was stunned. Not only was she alive, but well over a century had been lifted from her body. She now looked as she had during the Enterprise's first five-year mission. Admiral Nyota Uhura had no idea what the hell was going on. She just kept staring in the mirror, thrown off by the familiar stranger who stared back. She gently touched her own unwrinkled face. It was like the reverse of nightmares she had suffered in her youth. But this was no dream.

"In Love, Again, It'll Be...Just Like Starting Over."

But how, she wondered, was any of this possible? For now, though, her answers would have to wait.

----------------------------------------
USS ESSEX,EN ROUTE TO RENDEVOUS WITH USS ENTERPRISE-E

Doctor Benjamin Franklin Pierce was rapidly closing on his 450th Birthday. His wife of 406 years, Doctor Margaret Houlihan, had already hit that mark two years back. But since they aged less than a day for every year, none of that really mattered. Nothing much mattered anymore. That was why the eternal couple so rapidly agreed to be the new Chief Medical Officers aboard the Enterprise-E, commanded by their old friend, James T. Kirk. Margaret looked over at Hawkeye, still reeling from the recent death of Endora Pierce, his witchly stepmother.

"You gonna make it, Cowboy?"

Hawkeye laughed.

"Do you remember the Cowboy? So anxious to get home, he was willing to push Henry Blake out of a chopper?"

Margaret nodded.

"I remember it all. That's the problem. How long have we been living in the past?"

"Too long. Heh. Can you imagine me, wanting to do service aboard a starship? Me, Hawkeye Pierce, voice of the Anti-Military?"

"I'm looking forward to it--and so are you. We should have joined Starfleet right after it formed. But old obligations kept cropping up.

Are you--are we--ready for this?"

Hawkeye smiled.

"Just so long as the you and me is we, I'm ready for anything, honey. Besides, knowing Jim Kirk, these will be some interesting times."

Margaret stood up.

"That's it! I'm telling the Captain to put the Essex into high gear, so we can get started. I didn't go from RN to MD to wait here, on the Essex."

At her own superhuman pace, Margaret headed straight for the bridge. Hawkeye waited.

"1-2--3--4---"

"Doctor Pierce to the Bridge!"

"Right on cue."

Hawkeye was on the Bridge in an instant. The Captain looked understandably upset.

"Geez, Hawkeye! I can't take you two anywhere. Now, please remove Doctor Houlihan before I have to remind her that I'm a Starship Captain, now. Translation : I outrank the both of yez!" Captain Walter Macleod, once known as Walter O'Reilly, was on the verge of pulling his clan sword on Margaret.

"Sorry, Radar. Darling, let's leave The Captain be."

"He's still a shrimp. Whoever heard of a Captain with a pimply voice?"

Walter was livid.

"Ok. That was just about it. You two are the pill. Always have been. But now you're disruptin' my ship. Doctor Hunnicutt!! To The Bridge ASAP!!"

In an instant, Erin Hunnicutt, who, like her mother Peg and Aunt Samantha, was a witch, appeared at the command of her Captain, who was also her husband.

"Walter, you really want me to?"

He looked over both the people he loved so well, and nodded.

"Zap em' on to the E-Ticket!!"

"Now, wait just a minute, Radar..."

"Look, I'll keep her and myself calm, we..."

As Erin gestured and they vanished, the crew cheered. Captain Walter Macleod shook his head.

"Boy, those guys! And here I thought Methos and Cassandra were trouble."

-----------------------------------------------
USS ENTERPRISE-E, 2372

Once out from the turbolift, Deanna Troi and Will Riker made like the wind. Their new Captain, James T. Kirk, was in a kind of peril, so they had to get to his quarters.

"Counselor, I cannot believe you left them alone. By now, Captain Kirk is probably crawling the walls, going out of his mind. What the hell were you thinking?"

Deanna knew she deserved those words, but still didn't care for her friend's tone.

"I was called away, Commander. I had an appointment with Data, and then with Scotty. Since taking over from Geordi, he's been quite worried about possibly alienating his key people in Engineering."

That statement turned Riker's head.

"Whaaat? Scotty has one of the best rapports with his staff I've ever seen. Fact is, I think maybe he should have your job, Deanna."

Right then, Deanna felt like Scotty-or anyone else who wanted her increasingly thankless job--could have it.

"Be that as it may, Will, both he and the Captain feel awkward in our era. They have the talent to shine as brightly now as they did back then. But confidence only comes with experience. They currently lack that essential, from their point of view."

Riker noted, as only he could, that Deanna was nearing perfection at a job she was beginning to despise. Luckily, he himself felt comfortable in the extended role of Executive Officer. Plus---he had gotten word that Shelby had wanted the job, herself. Now, if Tom would just return his correspondence, life would be nearly perfect.

"I suppose its also due to the fact that their generation thought in terms of the young replacing the old, not the other way around. Well, here we are!"

Deanna looked about.

"Will, are we on the right deck? This looks like Engineering."

"Deanna! Of course, this is the Senior Officers' Quarters Deck---or, it would be, if we were still on the D. This is embarrassing. How many more times I am gonna make this
mistake?"

"Probably you'll stop doing it at about the same time as I stop looking for Ten-Forward and my chocolate sundae fix. We miss the D, Will. Jim misses his two ships, as well. Right now, he probably wishes he were on one of them--rather than where I left him."

Riker nodded.

"She's not all that bad, you know. Despite what I said before, Lxwana is not an ogre."

"An ogre, Captain Kirk could handle. My mother, on the other hand, might drive him so crazy, she just might get you promoted, Number One."

Riker shot Troi a cold look.

"Not funny, Counsleor."

Looking for an opening to recant her unthinking remark, Deanna realized how much Will-and she-really missed Captain Picard. Riker really was happy to serve under Kirk. The analogy he gave was that the finest knight in the realm would still pledge his sword to the risen King Arthur, given the chance. That said, Deanna knew that her once and future Imzadi still felt the injustice of Picard's pointless death.

"Will?"

"Yes, Deanna?"

"Where--exactly--are The Captain's Quarters?"

Will moved as if to speak, then caught himself.

"I....have....no....idea!"

The absurdity of their situation caught up with them. With that, months of nervous tension released, and the former lovers started laughing. Suddenly, they needed to grab the walls for support. Relieving Captain Kirk of the burden of Lxwana Troi would have to wait til they could catch their breath, and that would take a few minutes to even attempt.

"We....have....no....ideaaahheheea!!"

-------------------------
Inside Main Engineering was a man who had made it his practice to bunk on a cot in that selfsame department. That man was Montgomery Scott, new Chief Engineer aboard The Enterprise-E. He felt that nothing less than dead-solid-perfect mastery of his new 'bairns' was allowable. He owed that much to the reborn James T. Kirk, and he owed no less to himself. His goal was simple but daunting : To know these engines now as well as he knew the First Enterprise's engines after ten years with them. Among the many obstacles to this goal was the person who seemed omnipresent those past few weeks. Scotty looked up, and there this person was---yet again.

"Is there somethin' I can do for you, Commander Data?"

"Geordi would always talk with me, when I was troubled, Captain Scott."

"Data--call me Scotty. Are ye troubled, here and now?"

"No, Scotty. I am not."

Scotty dearly did not wish to hurt the android's new-found feelings, but these pointless conversations he initiated were becoming rapidly tiresome.

"Scotty, what activity are you engaged in?"

"Well, now, lad, I am attempting to remove warp-field residue from the outer dilithium chamber."

"Scotty?"

"Yes, Data?"

"There are a great many simpler and more efficient ways to accomplish this task."

"Aye, that I know. But its my 150 year-old body's ability to handle this sort of vital work under adverse circumstances, from an odd remove like this one, that I am testing."

"Scotty?"

"Yes, Data?"

"You are only chronologically around 150 years old. You have dropped a significant amount of mass, both you and Captain Kirk have undergone treatments not available in your era, and several female crewmembers have commented favorably on the loss of your moustache. In that light, I am afraid that the results of your test must be seen as invalid."

"Data?"

"Yes, Scotty?"

"Is your emotion chip on or off?"

"Oh, it is off right now, sir. I am still, as they say, 'getting the hang' of emotions."

"So you could nae tell, for example, if you were annoying the living hell out of someone?"

"An intriguing question, sir. But I believe I currently lack the ability to make that distinction."

"Ah, laird, he's as thick as a brick!"

"Scotty?"

"Yes, Data?"

"My density differs significantly from that of a common building brick."

Scotty looked him straight in the eye.

"Be not so sure, Commander."

---------------------------------------
Back outside Engineering, Riker and Troi had finally begun to gather themselves.

"Deanna."

"Yes, Will?"

"Your Mother. Captain Kirk. His quarters."

"Right. Will?"

"Hmm?"

"Who did you place a call to on Cardassia Prime, the other day?"

Riker nodded.

"So you know. It was to Gul Dukat."

"You didn't attempt to hide it, and I'm not security. But what business could you possibly have with the likes of Dukat?"

Will spoke only reluctantly, as though anxious not to jinx something.

"I wanted to see about getting Tom out of prison. I figured, since Jim helped engineer the Klingon withdrawal from Cardassian territories, I might finagle a little gratitude towards my 'brother'."

"I don't need to know you to know--that your effort met with failure. I'm sorry, Will. I would also feel better if Tom served his time in a Federation prison. But the Cardassians do like to parade their Maquis prisoners."

"Deanna, he said he'd do it."

Her face lit up. She saw that Will was still not looking enthused. She reasoned out what dealing with Dukat meant.

"In exchange for what?"

"Oh, nothing much. You've heard of the Dominion outpost at Ker Delea 2001?"

"Who hasn't? Since Cardassia formally declared 'permanent non-alliance' with the Dominion, that lone outpost has been a base for harassment of Cardassian shipping lanes. Let me guess. Dukat wishes us to attack it, maybe giving him some needed breathing room."

"He doesn't wish us to merely attack it. He wishes us to completely destroy it. Otherwise, come Tom's next review---his sentence will be increased. How do I even approach Captain Kirk with this kind of request? That spot has to be the best defended, most defensible one in the Quadrant. Even the E, with a couple of Defiant-Class in tow, would be hard pressed to do much more than scratch Ker Delea 2001's paint. My request has only made things worse for Tom."

"Will, don't let Dukat play you. He is a master manipulator, as Captain Sisko could surely tell you. Also, you cannot make any request of Captain Kirk--til we find him. Computer, please give us the deck location of the Captain's quarters."

Riker smiled at Deanna's cleverness. Even though the internal locator was off-line, the computer could simply tell them where to go to find Jim's quarters, and rescue him from Lxwana Troi's babbling brook of a mouth.

"Due to memory core enhancement and maintenance, that information is not currently available."

Deanna closed her eyes.

"In other words, we still have no idea."

Riker shrugged.

"It could be worse. We could be laughing uncontrollably again."

"Never happen, Commander. I am all laughed out."

"Yeah, me too."

Just then, two people fell from above.

"Will. Deanna. GANGWAY!!!!!!!"

Hawkeye and Margaret Pierce hit the deck with a thud. Margaret stood up, enraged.

"Where is that little WEASEL? I'm going to feed him his sword! And can you believe Erin? Sending us away like that?"

Later, Hawkeye would explain how they had worn out the patience of Captain Walter 'Radar' Macleod of the Essex, whose wife then used her abilities to shove them onto the Enterprise ahead of schedule. Right now, he was too mad.

"Don't worry, honey. I may have taught our small friend every trick he knows, but I didn't teach him every trick I know. Just wait til he's not looking. Then, we make him think Kronos came back!"

"Good. Say, Darling, why are Will and Deanna laughing?"

"I have no idea. Hey...guys? Its us? The new CMO's?"

It would be another ten minutes before the Ship's Counselor and First Officer would again stop laughing, and speak to their old friends. They sat back to back, their lungs hurting from the needed
release.

--------------------------------------
Back inside Main Engineering, Montgomery Scott wondered mightily about the penalties for de-constructing a legally sentient Soongian Android.

"Scotty?"

"Yes, Data?"

"When are you going to be finished?"

"Why do you ask this, Data?"

"I was hoping to test my physiological reactions to different sensations with the emotion chip on and off. Geordi promised to help me do this."

"Ah, I see. Data, lad---Geordi's not here."

"I know. I miss him, Scotty."

"Right about now, I, too, miss our mutual friend. In fact, Commander Data, I find myself wishing he were here with you, right now!"

"I see. Then I am to take it that your difficulties in mastering these engines is more pronounced than I had thought?"

Scotty threw down his work, and stood up.

"Data?"

"Yes, Scotty?"
 
"Lad, can you lie on yuir stomach, and make yuir android's body just as stiff as a sheet of metal?"

"I can, sir."

Scotty wore a devil's grin.

"Do so then, Commander. Lets test a certain type of physiological reaction toa specific type of forward movement."

Data was grateful--for now.

Back outside, Deanna and Will gathered themselves while Doctors Houlihan and Pierce used their enhanced abilities to search for Captain Kirk, Will and Deanna were in a calm moment, hoping it would last. Their bouts with uncontrollable laughter appeared to be over. They sat back to back, just talking.

"Will?"

"Yes, Deanna?"

"Do you ever miss---us?"

"Sometimes. But doesn't your us include Worf?"

Deanna shook her head.

"Him? Mister 'I have to protect Deanna by breaking her heart'? Will, I promise you. He is no 'us' of mine. Friends? Yes. But I need someone who doesn't push me away with my alternate future safety as an excuse."

Will braced himself.

"What about someone who ran away? Chose a life in Starfleet instead of you?"

"You might just be forgiven--so long as you don't make me laugh again, today. You make my chest hurt."

Silence.

"Will, I just said my -- chest -- hurts."

"I know, I know. But an able XO knows when to avoid a trap---especially one so large and obvious."

She winced at the joke, and Will spoke again.

"Deanna --- Imzadi?"

"That's not merely a word, Will. But I'm willing to see, if you are. Heh. My mother would probably say-----MOTHER!!!!!"

The Pierces returned in a blur.

"Sorry, Deanna! Hawkeye and I criss-crossed this entire ship. There's no sign of them."

Hawkeye nodded.

"This place is like a travelling San Francisco. All hills, and about 15 crookedest roads."

Deanna and Riker stood up.

"Okay--here's the plan. Lets all wander the halls, yelling out the Captain's name. Someone--somewhere--has to know where to find him."

Deanna nodded.

"And we avoid any more wild laughter. Its disgraceful for senior officers to lose control like that."

Doctor Pierce agreed.

"Yeah, Laughter has to be let out a little at a time, not all at once. Take Margaret and me. I can't remember the last time we laughed like you two were."

Doctor Houlihan tilted her head.

"People! Data's in the next room. He's sure to know where Jim's quarters are."

Suddenly, the engineering doors opened.

"Gangway!!!"

Scotty, using a pair of anti-gravs, bodily tossed the stiff-as-a-board Data well out of the doorway. The highly confused android hit the opposite wall, and bounced. Scotty then screamed at the top of his lungs, shaking his fist.

"GET YUIR DARK SOUL OUT FROM ME BAIRNS, YE CHATTY DEMON, AND PRAY DARKEN MY DOOR NO FURTHER! A MAN CAN ONLY TAKE SO MUCH GRIEF FORE HE CRACKS WIDE OPEN!"

He stood there, shaking and fuming.

Deanna broke the silence that followed.

"I thought I was the 'bouncy' one."

She and Riker were already laughing again. Pierce and Houlihan started in next, not nearly as immune to the absurd sight as they would have thought. Scotty, too, finally gave in and added to the falling-down release. Data brushed himself off, and merely stared at his friends, guffawing on the floor.

"Perhaps now would not be the best time to access my emotion chip."

----------------------------------
When the Enterprise's senior staff, new and old and new again had finally stopped rolling on the floor laughing their backsides off, Will Riker spoke to Data.

"Commander--hejeejjjhhee- do you know where the Captain's Quarters are?"

"Indeed I do, sir."

Deanna now gathered herself.

"Data, we need to find Captain Kirk. Take us to him before anything else happens."

"I shall, Counselor. But something else has already occurred. We have two intruders."

Deanna puzzled at that.

"Who?"

Data pointed to the Doctors Pierce.

"These two individuals cannot be Doctors Benjamin Franklin Pierce and Margaret Houlihan-Pierce. They are not due to arrive for another sixteen hours, at minimum, and we have not dropped out of warp."

The Bridge signaled.

"Incoming message from the Essex."

"Data here. I shall take it."

Captain Walter Macleod of The Essex responded.

"Hey, Data? Yeah. Listen, I went and sent those two Medical horses patoots by witchcraft express. They arrive yet?"

Data looked over at the CMO's.

"No, Captain---Walter. But I shall tell them of your concern when they do arrive. Data out."

Hawkeye smiled appreciatively.

"Thanks, Data."

Data nodded.

"I myself still 'owe' our friend Radar for a series of practical jokes during my service aboard The Wilberforce. Will I have your help in achieving justice, Doctors?"

Margaret responded enthusiastically.

"Count on it, Commander!"

As Data guided them to Captain Kirk's quarters, Scotty had a question.

"Deanna, is your mother that Great of a terror?"

"She--can be, Scotty. The Captain, by now, is probably tearing his hair out. She can and will go on for hours at a time."

Riker chimed in.

"She's just so very forceful. Sees what she likes, and then does her damndest to take it, no matter the consequences."

Scotty kept a comment about Lxwana's similarity to someone else he knew to himself.

Data took a risk.

"Scotty?"

"ACH. Yes, Data?"

"I apologize for annoying the living hell out of you. It was not my intention."

Scotty softened, at that.

"Data, two of the best friends I ever had spent all their lives annoying the living hell out of each other. At times, that one thing seemed the entire basis of their friendship. I'll merely have to find a way to get under yuir artificial skin."

"I would, in fact, appreciate that, Scotty. Particularly as I access my emotion chip more and more. But Scotty?"

"Aye?"

"Please do not hurl me through any more open doors. It was most distressing."

"I offer you no promises, Commander. Merely my best efforts."

"That will suffice."

Margaret whispered to her husband.

"What do you think about our new shipmates?"

Hawkeye's response was pure Pierce.

"I feel like I'm drowning in Deja Vu."

Finally, they reached their goal.

"Door's not locked."

"Will, just go in. There's no telling what we'll find in there."

And when the door to Captain James T. Kirk's quarters was opened, all involved indeed saw a sight which shocked them to no end. Deanna spoke for the stunned assemblage.

"Oh.....Shit!"

-----------------------------------------
Kirk's quarters were in a shambles. There was not a loose piece that had not been hurled or smashed. Captain James T. Kirk of the Enterprise-E was unmoving and unconscious. Betazed Ambassador Lxwana Troi was equally unmoving. Both also had smiles on their faces--and both were completely naked. Again, it was Lxwana's daughter Deanna that broke the silence, waking those still basking in the afterglow.

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE FIVE RINGS OF BETAZED IS GOING ON HERE!!!?"

From underneath her new lover, Lxwana Troi looked up at her daughter.

"Gracious, little one! Don't you knock? Oh, James! She did the same thing when she was five---and she had that same, dumb look. She was so cute, and her cheeks were all flushed--just likethey are right now. Deanna, doll, what is the matter?"

Kirk looked over at his new CMO's.

"Hawkeye! Margaret! A little early for a checkup, don't you think?"

Before withdrawing, Pierce countered his Captain's quip.

"Well, Jim-I mean--if you're not going to be ready for spot inspections, then I might as well get off right here. Speaking of getting off....."

Outside, Hawkeye saw his wife lightly crying.

"What's wrong, honey? The sight of new romance tugging at your heartstrings?"

"No, its not that. Its just--when Deanna yelled like that---it reminded me of Colonel Potter!"

Hawkeye kissed her.

"No living in the past, remember? Enterprise--the future--all that jazz."

Margaret smiled.

"But let's never forget that past, either."

Pierce returned her smile, and raised her a big grin.

"We can't! Most of them are still alive, remember? The 4077th had more future immortals per capita than any unit in the KTO."

With that, the new Chief Medical Officers left to set up their Sickbay. They decided to present themselves to the Captain when his hands weren't so full.

Kirk looked at Riker.

"Will, please show me how to use that damned internal lock! Will--? Scotty, could you clear everyone out? They're acting as though they've never seen this sort of thing before."

Lxwana concurred.

"Too much career and not enough of what's truly important. That's my Deanna!"

Scotty shuffled the stunned group out the door.

"Captain, Ambassador. You two just carry on. Aye. As though you need the likes of me to tell you that."

Outside, Riker tried to speak.

"They were........"

Troi had a little better luck.

"Captain Kirk...and my Mother! They were....this never happened with Captain Picard....not even once!"

Scotty was the most coherent.

"It is quite beyond me why any of us walked into James T. Kirk's quarters and expected anything else. That said, they were really....enthusiastic."

Data looked confused.

"What is troubling you, Data?"

"Merely an odd synonym I have referenced, Counselor. I fail to see what canines have to do with the position that Captain Kirk and your mother were in. It may require more research."

This time, as Data walked off, the laughter was controlled. But it was also clear that Captain Kirk would be handling Ambassador Troi much differently than Jean-Luc Picard. But the more some things change, the more they stay the same. One week later, Lxwana Troi had left, but with a promise to return, a promise Kirk said he would hold her to. He later invited Troi, Riker, and Data to his quarters.

"I asked only you three here because I wanted you to see this. I've given the portrait of myself that the crew gave me back to the crew. Its not that I didn't like it, mind you. But the man in the yellow tunic is 100 years dead. His mind was of another era, and this is not that era. Plus, I'm frankly tired of being in competition with him. So, to that end, I put up the portrait--of another Captain. One who embodies the best of this new era, and who I hope will inspire me when I need it. I only knew him a brief time. And, it must be noted, I am not him. But I pray that the best of him--will always stay with us."

Jim pulled away the cover, and revealed the portrait of a regal man, whose balding hair looked something like a Roman Crown on his head. It was Jean-Luc Picard. Kirk poured some non-replicated, real alcohol champagne, and handed the glasses around, just as Pierce, Houlihan, and Scotty joined them. Jim offered a toast.

"To the many Captains of The Starship Enterprise and to their crews, as well. May this Captain and this crew earn and re-earn the right to stand with them. To new beginnings--or as my dear late friend Admiral Uhura liked to say----To Starting Over."

Over the coming months, may extraordinary threats would face this Captain and his crew. Many things from within would challenge them, as well. The Doctors would have a challenging time in accepting the new technology which they knew but did not always care for. Will Riker would still stare longingly at that center seat. Data would have to deal with newer and stronger waves of emotion. Deanna would face the re-opening of her relationship with Will Riker, and the off putting relationship of her mother with her Captain. Jim would face nothing less than the re-creation of Captain Kirk in an era he had not yet defined. But they were more than ready to join those other Enterprise crews in legend. As was said, the past was done, though never lost, and it was a time for new beginnings. The toast was repeated, again and again.

"To Starting Over!"

END BOOK ONE

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Writer's Note : That leaves absolutely no unresolved plotlines except for those involving Locutus, Sela, Tom Riker, Cardassia, The Dominion, Chekov, Bester, B5, Lxwana/Jim, Riker/Troi, Uhura, Data's emotions....there may be a few books in this series, after all.

Special thanks go to Marlissa Campbell for archiving this AU tidbit, and to Sydvick, whose urgings to get the jokes out of 'Ancient Destroyer' made me feel a need to put them someplace--like here. I regard 'SO' as a Star Trek sitcom, and all sitcoms feature in-laws. So look for Spock, McCoy, Saavik and Peter to eventually show up as well, and probably the Sulus, once I get some ideas there. Thanks to all readers --- Rob