The Saddest are These
by Rob Morris
In the glint of the silver in Andrew's twitchy hand, Jonathan Levinson finally saw it.

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SPRING, 1999

The burly woman had the butcher blade raised over Xander. But a gunshot took it out of her hand, and stunned her enough for Buffy to send her flying. She helped Xander up, and then looked over at the one with the gun.

"Still feel like killing yourself?

The gun was hidden away, and supplementing his therapy were Jonathan's new friends.

GRADUATION DAY

Levinson tossed a vial of holy water at the vampire, who got off the blonde long enough to be staked. He then shrugged broadly.

"You brought SPRING water instead of HOLY water?"

Harmony Kendall folded her arms.

"Get away, you geek!"

Another vampire tried to take her, but Levinson caught a break and staked it when it stumbled. The blonde lost her attitude.

"Errr--please help me, Mister Geek, Sir?"

Xander's plan was working--for now.

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EARLY 2000

Harris shook his head at the suggestion.

"No way. That sounds like something out of Bugs Bunny."

Buffy raised a hand, and waved him off.

"Jonathan, just tell me how it would work."

"Welll, its basically an augmentation spell. Used one way, everybody local thinks you're the coolest ever. Used another way--you could become a worldwide celebrity. I could basically make myself the ultra famous Jonathan, waltz into the Initiative, and have them spilling the beans on 314 and such. Xander's right. It is like Bugs Bunny. But no one's gonna see my tail."

The Slayer would okay this. But not before she said :

"That piece of mental imagery not necessary, Jonathan."

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MAY, 2001

The wrecking ball smashed the skanky god hard. As she finally got up again, she pointed.

"You little bricklaying....what's that shadow?"

Off in the distance was Jonathan, chomping on a carrot.

"Like Anvils, Doc?"

And as the weighted wonder once again smashed the arrogant monster down, Buffy ascended the stairwells in time to stop the freak from reaching Dawn.

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OCTOBER, 2001

Jonathan confirmed Willow's analysis.

"Yeah, this little bug was meant to screw with your sense of time. If you'd been deeply confused or depressed, it would have had you, Buffy...."

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HARSH REALITY

His blood flowed across the demon symbol. He had never joined the Scoobies, and now never would. Vengeance on Andrew would have to wait--except for petty vengeance.

"Sorry, Jonathan--but this had to be."

"Shut--up--Andrew. I'm talking to.. George Lucas's father's spirit..."

The vicious yet gullible Andrew walked right in.

"OH! What is he saying, Jonathan?"

Andrew ignored the urgings of 'Warren' not to listen, and Jonathan managed one last shot, a blow tailored for a specific enemy, and worthy in its own way of any Scoobie.

"Darth Sidious...is not Palpatine after all."

Jonathan Levinson entered the afterlife hearing his murderer screaming.