HOLLYWOOD, 2004

The new governor was beaming.

"Isn't this great?"

The old governor was not.

"If you say so."

The professional politician knew his successor was not stupid, or musclebound, or anything like that. Far worse, he was Hollywood, and once Hollywood folk had made up their minds on an idea, labels like conservative or liberal no longer mattered. 'High concept' did.

The star of the show was waiting for them, hoping that, like the legendary boxer he once portrayed, his career could get off the mat in one motion.

"I owe you two so big. This one is going to dominate the theatres. I think we can even overtake Harry Potter 3. I feel it."

The former governor saw the star wave at a noted actress of a differing political bent.

"Hey, Jane! That was a great retrospective on your Dad on Bravo!"

The former governor puzzled.

"Don't you resent what she did in North Vietnam?"

"Yeah, but I own the DVD rights to 'Golden Pond' and her aerobics stuff, and her film-restoration studio is remastering 'The Lords Of Flatbush' nearly at cost."

The new governor nodded.

"Around here, you have to learn to let things go. Otherwise, I would have killed Dana Carvey years ago."

The star chuckled.

"Have you seen 'Master Of Disguise'? You'd have done him a favor."

Before they entered the theater to begin the focus-group preview process, the star looked at the new governor.

"Ummm--Henry Winkler is still mad at you. Suggest you avoid."

"But I thought Ron intervened on my behalf."

"Nope. Anson asked him to stay out of it."

"Damn! I may want a career after politics. But how the hell do I function in Hollywood if I'm on Anson Williams' bad side?"

The former governor's cell-phone rang.

"John? No. No, I can't appear in Wisconsin. I'm--I'm a script consultant on 'Flintstones 3'."

Apparently, there was another candidate listening in on the other end.

"John? Tell Howard to stop laughing. I mean it!"

Finally, the initial trailer began to play inside as all were seated.

*In every generation, she comes...A Chosen One, The Fated Slayer Of Vampires And Demons. And Just As Surely, There Is The One That Must Train Her...*

******THE WATCHER******

DREW BARRYMORE is: Annette Winters, The Slayer

Annette: It has to be wood? What if I get splinters?

JIM CARREY is: Axel Horace, The Sidekick

Axel: Alllll I'm saying is---maybe we shouldn't go hunting the big nasty eat us up in one bite thingy without a few dozen nukes as backup!

SANDRA BULLOCK is: Fern Heidelberg, The Student Witch

Fern: Don't worry---I can make our clothes reappear. I'm thinking.

DAVID SCHWIMMER is: Seraphim, the reformed demon with doubts

Seraphim: Annette, I want to commit. Its just that I can't want not to not.

JERRY O'CONNELL is: Daniel 'Outback' Ausbacker, the man with a curse....

Outback: You don't understand. During a certain time of the month, I turn into...

CALISTA FLOCKHART is: Sarah Macleod, 'Outback's other self

Sarah: Fern...we REALLY have to talk...

EWAN MCGREGOR is: Rail, the American motorcycle rebel vampire who either wants to stop a Slayer's heart...or steal it away.

Rail: Yo, back in New York..we like our Slayers prone or dead...or both.

MICHAEL ROSENBAUM is: Drew Tucker, The hopeless nerd

Drew: This is just like in that episode of Star Trek!

AND SYLVESTER STALLONE IS WATCHER NILES RIPPER!!!

NR: So you're what we have to defeat The Leader?

COMING SOON

(NR Walks off, shrugging)

NR: Heh. The world IS doomed!