Kirk saw Ghidorah in the viewscreen. The thing was huge. He wasn't sure what Enterprise could do against the behemoth, but his crew was ready, and so was he.

"Behold THIS, Ancient Destroyer! Mr. Chekov, Mr. Sulu, on my mark---FIRE!"

Just then, a man wearing a 20th-Century British Colonel's uniform emerged onto the Bridge.

"All right, all right, stop this now!"

Kirk looked annoyed.

"Mister, were in the middle of pitched battle with a mythological monster! I don't appreciate interference!"

"No, no! That monster is merely a man in a three-headed rubber suit! Its not even CGI! No, I'm calling this crossover off! Its gotten rather silly quite quickly!"

Outside the ship, Ghidorah shrieked.

"That's quite enough out of you! Bobby, take him off!"

Outside the ship, a British Constable the same size as Ghidorah slapped cuffs on him.

"All Right, You! Come quiet, and I won't have to use me nightstick!"

The three-heads huddled.

"What do we do?"

"I says, we run for it!"

"Won't do. Sides', its a fair cop!"

Ghidorah left quietly. On board the ship, Kirk made plans.

"Ok, Spock. Set course to rendezvous with Luke Skywalker and his bunch!"

The Colonel shook his head.

"No, no, Captain. That "Force-created dimensional interface" is far too weak a premise! I'm afraid that none of your current crossovers pass muster!"

Spock raised an eyebrow.

"Colonel, is it our current crop of crossovers you find objectionable, or the general idea of genres crossing?"

"Now, see here, Mr. Spock! Nobody likes a good crossover better than myself! Wel, except for my wife, our sons, our daughters, their spouses, Rob Morris, Lauras Valentine and Taylor, JStaik, Marlissa Campbell, Paul Gadzikowski, Cathy Krawiec, Mandy Beckett, Audrey Meusel---oh well, it seems that MOST people like a good crossover better than me! But it hardly matters! On to the StarBase Sketch...."

The StarBase Sketch

WAIT FOR ITTTTT!!!!!!"

"The Real StarBase Sketch"

As the Colonel sat in his office, two Klingons walked in to see him.

"And how may I help you two gentlemen?"

"I am Dindsdlex, and this is my brother, Pirahn! We are here to welcome your StarBase to the Neighborhood!"

"Welcome? But this base has been here for 75 years!"

"Yes. It is a strong, fine, Starbase you have here, Colonel! Be a shame, if anything were to happen to it!"

"Happen to it? Are You Threatening Me?

"No one is issuing threats, Colonel! We're just two concerned Klingons, is all! You have all those shuttlecrafts, all those heavy cruisers----who can say what might occur?"

"Now, for a small fee, we will offer---protection!"

Just then, the Emergency signal came on all frequencies.

"KING GHIDORAH HAS ESCAPED!"

Out in Space, the creature blasted a planet to atoms, uttering one plaintive cry.

"DINSDLEX?"

Tellar fell, then Andor.

"DINDSLEX?!"

Alpha Centauri, and Ceti Alpha next, with each head asking the same question, in unison, and then in turn, poking its head out from asteroid fields.

"DINDSDLEX!!!!!?"

It is now time for the Godzilla on top of your Tv set --- to explode.

Next on BBC981-Gratuitous Female Ferengi nudity and---The Larch.

"DINSDLEX!!!!!!!!!!!???????"