Garfield awoke, and looked around. He wasn't in his home. The light hurt his eyes.

*Stupid huge eyeballs. Its bad enough having cat vision. Its like having lighted binoculars.*

There was a doctor in a lab coat in front of him, smiling.

"Welcome back, Garfield. We seem to have broken the hold the other world has on you."

Garfield again looked around, and realized he was in some sort of mental facility.

*I AM NOT A NUMBER! I AM A FREE CAT!!!*

But then he checked his pet license, and realized that in fact, he was a number.

*Eh. I can deal with it.*

The doctor nodded.

"This is the first time we've gotten you out since the death of Lorenzo Music. Wait'll I tell your owner."

*My owner? I'm in a pet mental facility?*

Garfield peered out the door, and saw holding cells with names marked on them like Ed, Azrael, Lassie, Rin-Tin-Tin, Ms. Lions, Ape, and Opus.

*This must be California.*

Jon Arbuckle walked in--completely alone, except for the Doctor.

"Is he really cured, Doctor?"

I think so, Mister Arbuckle. He has completely rejected the grim fantasy world wherein you are a cartoonist."

Jon laughed.

"A cartoonist? I'm the Lasagna King of the West Coast! My factories pour out over a hundred tons of the stuff each week."

Garfield felt his heart stop.

*This place is great!*

"What's more, Mister Arbuckle, he's lost that odd alter-ego, a stupid dog named Odie. He never made any sense, anyway. Originally, he was supposed to be owned by a friend of yours, but then Garfield had retroactive memories of meeting him as a puppy."

Garfield put his hand on his chest.

*Odie, old pal. I'll never forget you--so long as you remain just an intangible memory that can't bother me anymore.*

"Anything else, Doctor?"

"Yes. I'm pleased to say that Garfield's personal demon, an eternally cute kitten named Nermal, is also a thing of the past."

Garfield let his view on this pass without much comment.

*YES! YEEEEEESS! YEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!*

"Doctor, he's jumping for joy! Err--can you give him something for that?"

The Doctor injected him with a sedative, and Garfield laid down.

*Paradise--I'm in Paradi---*

Garfield awoke in the Arbuckle home. Odie's immense tongue was licking him. Nermal smiled, looking annoyingly cute as ever. Jon held up a graying mass inside a casserole dish.

"Gee, Garfield, we thought we'd lost you. I warned you not to eat this eight-week old lasagna! Heaven only knows what kind of dreams you had."

Odie kept licking. Nermal just kept blinking those eyes.

*Garfield, what kind of dreams do fat people have? I wouldn't know, of course.*

In a blind panic, Garfield ate up all the remaining eight-week old Lasagna. Quickly, he found himself back in the clinic, where he grabbed the Doctor by his lapels.

*Listen, you idiot! NEVER sedate me again.*

Jon opened the clinic's front door, where his super stretch limo awaited his happy cat.

"Let's go home, Garfield."

----------------------------------------------------------------

SUNNYDALE, MARCH 26TH, 2003, 4:30 am

Buffy awoke in the kitchen with a start.

"Whowhatwhenwherehowwhy?"

Xander held her steady.

"Hey! Its alright. Buff, you just had a bad dream. You must've been starved, to eat that week-old lasagna. What were Giles and you arguing about, anyway?"

Buffy grabbed her head.

"He and Robin tried to kill Spike."

Xander stood up, enraged.

"Spike? My brother Spike?"

Xander then threw on an old-style set of pilot's goggles, a flight jacket, and a scarf.

"The Red Baron must pay for this! Away to my faithful Sopwith Camel!"

Buffy stared dumbly as outside, Xander jumped into a World War One Biplane, and took off. She saw Willow.

"Willow, I think he ate the bad lasagna, too. We have to stop him."

Willow smiled.

"Noper."

"Well, why not?"

Willow shrugged.

"I kinda cast a spell on someone else, while Xander's under the influence."

The young woman awoke with a start. She was dressed as a World War One German nobleman, flying in a red biplane decorated with the Iron Cross. She heard Xander Harris crying out from his biplane.

"I have you now, Red Baron!"

As his blazing guns bore down on her, she pleaded for her miserable
life.

"Xander, No! Its me! AMY!!!"

----------------

The credits rolled at that point, and Garfield shut off the TV. Nermal and Odie looked confused. Garfield walked away in disgust. Jon shook his head.

"This is even worse than Season Six."