The Environs Of Japanimeopolis, Date Unknown, and Mostly IrrelevantIt had been a week since Tenchi Masaki had found the seven odd individuals on the grounds of his family shrine, bringing the number of odd individuals who dwelled there to fourteen.
He had to admit, though, that the seven new arrivals were a good deal more well behaved than his usual guests--who were really kind of more like family, even the two who wanted to marry him. In fact, one of the two was technically his own great-aunt, though for some reason no one ever brought that up.
"Granpa, I'm done with the raking. Has Peter's condition improved any?"
Tenchi's grandfather had once been crown prince of the planet Jurai, but was now happy to be merely an old man teaching his grandson the great arts.
"No, Tenchi. Peter Kirk is still comatose. They don't know how it will turn out."
"Granpa? Would you have ever asked me to take care of every single chore on this estate all by myself?"
The older man looked up from his reading.
"If it were necessary for your lessons. Or if your father and I became disabled. But then, I suppose we'd hire servants to help you. Why do you ask?"
Tenchi rubbed his neck.
"Well, I was talking to Saavik, and apparently Peter's parents--his legal parents--treated him like a slave. He wasn't even past 10, but they made him take complete care of his little brother. Then when they died, he had to do the same stuff at his grandmother's---and she beat him, too."
"Tenchi, what are you asking me?"
"Well, Granpa, you told me that a champion finds strength through adversity. Peter Kirk's been through so much more than I have. Does that make him a greater champion?"
The former crown prince thought of the burdens that had driven him to stay away from his birthplace.
"He's a dweller in The Funnel, Tenchi. That makes his whole universe an adverse place to live. You must not judge yourself by standards that do not apply. Now, let's think on happier subjects. Where is my littlest sister and that little titan, Blake Pierce?"
Flying above with Sasami on her back was the 5-year old daughter of Hawkeye Pierce and Margaret Pierce-Houlihan. The subjects of radical and illegal genetic experimentation during the Korean War, the ageless, superhuman Pierces waited until 1999 to have a child. Blake was the first of two. She possessed genetic potential rivaling that of fictional characters seen only in comic books. She also liked to have fun with her friends. But not this day.
"Blake? What's wrong? Usually, you're so much fun to be around. Heh. I heard what you did to Serena and her dumb sailor pals. Too cool!"
But Blake merely landed by a large tree. Sasami saw that she was sulking.
"Sami--he's not going to make it. Peter spent all his power channeling our power and preventing that creep Anthony Fremont from using his. He's gonna die, and I love him like I do my brother Sherm or Aunt Samantha."
"Is your aunt the Vampire?"
"No, that's Uncle Nick The Cop. Aunt Samantha is a witch. Uncle Francis is a BayShore Prophet, Uncle Duncan is an Ammortal, and----well, there's a lotta people. But I never met anyone like Peter before. He's like my Dad. He never gives up, and he's never forgotten what its like to be a kid."
"Yes, I see that you care for him, just like I feel about Tenchi. But Granpa says that he's a great hero, so Pete'll be okay."
Blake shook her head.
"I think he's too tired to be okay."
Standing before a flower-pot containing an ailing rose was Wesley Crusher. Washu, the somewhat absent-minded scientist of the bunch, saw this.
"You're using way too much time-power, you know. Every time you've tried to heal it, you either make it a bud or age it to dust."
Wes kept trying.
"One of my few consistent strengths has always been problem-solving, Washu. If I can get this right, then I can accelerate Pete's healing. He took a real beating from Anthony Fremont. We all helped, but as the saying goes, every crew only has one Captain. From our little motley bunch, that's Peter Kirk, hands down."
Washu smiled, and tried to distract Wes, to no avail.
"Kid, why do I get the impression that you like to compare yourself to him and thereby make yourself crazy?"
Wes had the rose half-grown, so relaxed at this victory.
"He is me. He's me if I had done everything I was supposed to. If I had shown the toughness that both our mentors showed. If I had stepped up to the bat---and found a girl like Saavik. I fell in with corruption at my Academy. He rooted it out of his. I was taunted. He was---assaulted, when he was only 13."
Washu seemed unimpressed.
"Did he kill him a bar, when he was only 3? Wes, that rose and your pal have something in common besides the thorns. They can only grow in certain places, and in certain ways. You can tend a rose--but they are determined to do what they will."
"Any other words of advice?"
"Yes. Ryo-ohki just ate the petals off your rose."
The small creature sat there, looking contented. But Crusher was far from that. His friend was deathly ill, and all the powers assembled there could not save him, it seemed.
It was Penny Robinson's turn to sit vigil over the comatose Peter. Saavik lay on a mat on the floor, sweating. There was a very good possibility that she could not survive losing Peter. Bonded was not merely another word for married. Her cold-cloth was changed by the somewhat haughty but generally nice Princess Ayeka.
"The poor thing. She must love him a great deal, to be so put off by his illness. Penny, if I may ask, is your baby Peter's? I had noticed that you were pregnant."
"Uh, No. This--baby--is my brother Will's. Please, don't think poorly of us. We're adopted, although we didn't know that when we---when we started doing it. Our parents still don't know. They'll hit the roof when they find out."
Ayeka seemed confused.
"Don't you live near your parents? And wouldn't they be happy that you were happy?"
"Its hard to explain. But once we reached Alpha Centauri, our parents, sister, and brother-in-law left us to prepare a whole continent for colonization by ourselves. We were lonely. Then one night--it just happened. Before we knew it, we weren't just doing it---"
The Princess, smiling, finished for her.
"You found you were in love. How wonderfully sweet."
Penny raised a Saavik-like eyebrow.
"Most people just say, 'Oooh, Ick.' You're the first to react positively to the news."
"Oh, well. You see, on my homeworld, I was engaged to my older half-brother since birth. Just as I am now happily engaged--despite what that tramp Ryoko may think--to his grandson, Lord Tenchi."
Ayeka left, to clean the cold compress cloths. After she had, Penny gave commentary.
"Oooh---Ick! She's more messed up than me. Listen, Peter? They say that comatose people can hear it when you talk to them. Thank you. Without you, Will and I could never have accepted our love and its reality. Saavik has been my very best friend. But you were our leader. Your light showed us the way. And--if it could be done without betrayal or consequence, I'd have you in a minute."
The carnal words left her a little flushed, and a little guilty. But she would never take them back.
In the next room, Will Robinson, whose abilities were far more subtle than his alpha/sister's, began a journey into the overloaded mind of Peter Kirk.
The room he found himself in was dark, smelly, and on a psychic level, reeked of evil.
"Stay frosty, Willy-Boy. This ain't the second moon of Jupiter, no more."
Peter was wielding a big machine gun, and sniffing about.
"What in the high hell was that Ripley woman talking about? There's nothing here but a whole lotta nothing!"
Will felt terrified.
"Pete--the walls are moving. The walls--those aren't walls!"
Peter began firing crazily.
"Oh, Lordy! Its a Bug Hunt!"
The featureless black-as-pitch multi-jawed giant arthropod-like bipedals proceeded to tear Peter Kirk limb from bloody limb. Then the next scenario began. They were both in camoflauge and army fatigues. The jungle around them seemed like a green hell.
"Hey, Will? You think mebbe Schultz is right? Is there something in the jungle we can't see? Or did he just have some bad vienerschnitzel mit sauer----"
An unseen blade popped right through Peter's heart.
In the next scenario, there was loud, loud barking. They were in a crowded bunker.
"Heh. Something's got the dogs spooked. Hey, pal--you go and check the perimeter for Term---"
But the tall muscular man he spoke to merely snapped Peter's neck, cleanly and quickly. Will saw someone raise up a bazooka, and ducked.
"Peter--why are you doing this to yourself?"
As Will Robinson pondered Peter Kirk's seemingly self-destructive path, Radar O'Reilly faced a foe of a different kind.
"Is that your sword, or are you just happy to see me?"
The protege of two Highlanders, The Oldest, The Raven, and Henry Blake sent his Knight's Sword right through Ryoko. It should have split her in two. But Ryoko was as good a thief as Amanda, and she had something The Raven did not. The ability to go immaterial.
"Ahhh, I woulda hadja then. Just like--now!!"
Though Ryoko dodged the blade, she took note that her shoulder was bleeding.
"Wha---? No way can you cut through me when I'm immaterial."
Walter laughed, lightly.
"Well, it helps yer intangibility-ability if I don't telepathically mess with it, doncha know."
To his surprise, Ryoko smiled.
"You're devious, kid. I'll bet you're the last one standing, when the time comes."
Walter picked up a stray thought as she departed. He gulped.
"Awww, no. It all makes sense, now. I gotta talk to Wes, and fast!"
With Will now keeping vigil over the comatose Peter and desperately ill Saavik, Penny Robinson enjoyed a leisurely walk through the grounds of The Masaki Estate. She realized she had company.
"Something to say, Kiyone?"
Kiyone was the far more serious and sober of the two resident Galaxy Police alumni. But at that moment, her eyes were as wide as Mihoshi's. For she was a fan, addressing not the actress who played her favorite character--but the character herself.
"Sorry, Penny. But I have so many questions for you."
"Okay. Shoot. I take it this is about the TV show that exists in your universe?"
Kiyone nodded.
"Yes. You see, I never had much use for Earth programming. But I always liked 'Lost In Space'. I liked Will. I really liked Don. Judy just seemed to have it all together. Your parents were so strong. I always laughed when Doctor Smith would argue with the Robot. But I really identified with you. Tell me, did your family ever find Alpha Centauri?"
Penny sat down, remembering that joyous day. It all became muted so quickly. Judy and Don and their kids cramped in. Her parents arguing eternally. Smith finally gone, having destroyed not only himself, but poor dear Robot as well. Somehow, it was decided that she and Will were part of the problem. So they were sent away. Two alone--too alone. Til they found a solution that lonely people find.
"Yes, we found it. We had let Alpha Control know that we were alive about two years before. We all set to work making AC 4 ready for colonization. It was a ten-year plan, but we finished in three. That is, Will and I did. We worked very hard."
Kiyone was a detective, and a good one. But her next question was one whose answer she had remained deliberately ignorant of.
"Penny--you're almost four months pregnant. Who is your baby's father? Peter Kirk?"
Penny smiled, wishing that Saavik would share, understanding fully why she would not--and blaming her not at all.
"No. Peter has Saavik. Their love is amazing. He's devoted to her."
"Yeah, that's obvious. So was it Wesley Crusher?"
Penny had briefly thought of that, when she first found out the news. But her brief tryst with Wes just didn't have the timing to go with her stage.
"No. But I wouldn't mind. Although having Beverly Crusher for a mother-in-law would be off-putting. I'd hate to have all our friends salivating over my kid's grandmother."
Kiyone kept trying, hoping against hope that her instincts were just wrong.
"Well, Walter O'Reilly's an Immortal, so he's out as a candidate. Is it Major West?"
Now, Penny was annoyed. She did not need to be reminded of the friction caused by her parents' dumb suggestion that Don 'help' Penny out. Judy's savage insults still rung in her ears.
"Kiyone, you seem bright. Who do you think is the father of my child?"
Kiyone shook her head, and then whipped out her sidearm.
"The Jurai Royal Family is one thing. But on Earth, what you two did broke a whole bunch of laws. How could you? Brother and Sister? You were my heroes, growing up."
Penny's eyes glowed purple, and Kiyone's weapon vanished. She got up and slapped her.
"My raw power level is second only to Peter's. Do NOT ever pull a weapon on me again--understood?"
Kiyone was as shocked by her own behavior as Penny's.
"I don't believe I did that. But Penny--how did things go so wrong for you two?"
Penny shook her head.
"That's just it. I don't know that they did. Will and I love each other. We found out we're adopted, if that helps any. But we are not characters on a screen. At least I'm not. I grew up, and was lucky enough to find someone. Where I found him doesn't matter anymore."
Kiyone gulped, and nodded.
"Er--I still liked the Robot."
"So did all of us."
They sat and smiled, til Penny saw nine shadows overhead.
"Not them again!"
---------------------------------------
Radar found Wes at last.
"Walter? What's up? You seem all flustered."
The former company clerk nodded.
"Yeah. Listen, Wes. You hearda women they call chubby-chasers?"
The Traveler nodded.
"Crude term. But it refers to women who like their men on the portly side. Why do you ask?"
O'Reilly pointed out at the estate.
"Wes, these ladies here are whatcha call geek-grabbers. You an me, we gotta clear out."
Crusher was understandably suspicious.
"Oh, so I'm a geek? And you're my pal and protector? Forget it, O'Reilly. I'm not that dumb."
Walter forewent their usual back-and-forth, and gave examples.
"Okay. Now here's a ferinstance. That android-lady, Cutey Honey? Now who's she hang around with?"
Wes indeed remembered the shapely cybernetic from Japanimeopolis proper, and her teenaged companion, who laughed and sent milk out of his nose.
"Okay, but that's just one...."
"What about that Waitress-Fighter Lady? Tough as nails--and datin' her accountant!"
Wes grinned as he recalled the Variable Geo tournament, and the parade of beautiful girls forced to strip naked as they were eliminated. But the woman running it was indeed the constant companion of a rather nervous little man.
"I'm starting to sense a trend, here."
"Yeah, smart-guy. You an me both got troubles. I mean, a few of the nurses at the 4077th was geek-grabbers--but Japanimeopolis is chock full of ladies that act worse then some guys do, when they see what they want."
Wes regained himself, and shook his head.
"Walter--you're worrying over nothing. Besides, I still haven't seen any personal evidence of 'geek-grabbers'. We may be more awkward than Pete--but that does not in and of itself, mean anything."
Wes then opened the door to his room. Outside, carrying steaming bowls of rice, were Ayeka, Ryoko, Mihoshi, Kiyone, Sasami and Washu. They spoke as one, though this was not their intention.
"I've brought you breakfast!"
"Oh, go away!"
"Hey, I saw them first!"
"They're almost as cute as Tenchi!"
"I get The Immortal!"
"You always get The Immortal!"
"What can I say? I know what I like."
"The Traveler is obviously of a better stock. I'll handle him."
"I'll handle your funeral arrangements!"
"Hey! They're both a lot closer to my age!"
"We'll have to give them a thorough search!"
"Hee Hee! Body Cavity!"
Deciding that they did not wish to be 'grabbed' just right then, the two socially challenged young men jumped out the window. But they never hit the pond below.
"Wes--is it me, or are we trapped in a ball made outa pure golden light?"
"No--we are trapped. By nine schoolgirls in skimpy uniforms."
Walter winced.
"Just tell me they ain't wearin tons of jewelry, and one's a skinny blonde with pigtails."
"Walter--they're wearing tons of jewelry, and one is a skinny blonde with pigtails."
"I asked you not to tell me that!"
The skinny blonde with pigtails cried out her challenge.
"This is for Saavik Kirk and Penny Robinson! The Sailor Scouts want revenge for them exposing our naked hineys to the whole city! So we have their friends, til they come out! No one but no one humiliates Sailor Moon---and that means you!"
But Penny was sleeping for two, and Saavik was in not much better shape than her beloved Peter. So neither of them heard Serena Usagi's misguided revenge proclamation. But the female residents of The Masaki Shrine did.
Ryoko glared.
"Those sailor sluts just stole our intended!"
Ayeka held up her fist.
"This will not stand. They may not invade the Earthly domains of House Jurai and kidnap our well-liked
guests."Kiyone withdrew another sidearm.
"Galaxy Police, Lock and Load!"
Mihoshi looked up.
"How do you suppose Sailor Moon gets her hair like that? I can't do a thing with mine."
Washu prepared in her own way.
"Lesseee....yeah, 46MM shells should take them out nicely. Better add acid rounds, though."
Sasami slammed her fist into her hand.
"Oh, I have been soooo waiting for this!"
Wesley Crusher cried.
"I want my Mommy!"
Walter nodded.
"Yeah, she is kinda hot."
Then, it began.
-----------------------------------------
Inside with the comatose Peter Kirk was 6-year old Blake Pierce. While she despised Sailor Moon, and liked Sasami, she would not be part of the battle outside. For she would not leave the side of a man she regarded as a long-lost big brother.
"C'mon, Pete! You're the son of Captain James T! You're gonna save the world and kill King Ghidorah! You gotta get better!"
But Peter did not stir. Nor did Saavik, bound to him in life and more. Will Robinson could have, but was walking inside Peter's fevered mind.
Will saw a killer standing over Peter's dead mental form, mocking him.
"Ti-iii-me Is On My Side....Yes It Is."
Now, Peter was a frantic man, opening his car trunk, as FBI agents watched in horror.
"My Car! He placed the bomb inside my own ca....."
When the explosion was cleared, Will saw Peter die yet again. This time as before, his best struggles were of no avail.
"You shouldn't have just left me there to die!"
Will saw this repeat endlessly, until he grabbed at a shadowy form he had spotted. He glared when it took shape.
"Anthony Fremont! I knew you weren't dead."
The child-demon smiled.
"Actually, Anthony is dead. Peter was quite effective."
Will backed off, suddenly afraid for no reason he could discern.
"If-if you're not Anthony, then who or what are you?"
It looked around.
"So odd, Will. This looking around using only one head. With three, I can see in all directions, you know. But I only need one to see Peter die. He can't be a hero, in this little tableau. Only a victim. Behold, The Mighty Rock, as it crumbles to powder! Or better yet--Behold Me!"
Will now felt truly ill, and he named his morph-disguised opponent.
"Ghidorah."
Chapter Three - The Glasses Are OffWill now witnessed Peter warp into a reality in which he was a six-year old boy. He turned to the inhuman monster who wore the form of a human monster.
"Where is he now? Who is he now?"
The Enemy Of Life couldn't stop grinning if he tried. Ghidorah wore Anthony Fremont's psychic shell, and no union was ever more disturbing. Worse, the beast could speak.
"Demands, Will? Tsk, tsk. And after I spared you and Penny, all those years ago? I know. You have no idea what I'm talking about. But you will. Not that it matters."
Will thought quickly, and kicked the demon-child-image in its crotch. It keeled over.
"What? I---pain."
"You wear a form like ours, you have our vulnerabilities. And any male human kicked there feels it. Now answer my questions."
Ghidorah was trapped, at least partly. It could abandon Anthony's form. But that localized shell enabled it to invade Peter Kirk's mind as never before. It could not pass up this opportunity.
"Very well. He is in the Pentagon, on Earth. He is Peter Kirk, and corrupt military officials in my service have just kidnapped him. Sound familiar?"
Will looked over in horror. The General in charge of the sick assemblage was a bald version of Peter's enemy, Grand Admiral Brock Cartwright. Then, he remembered something far worse. Peter was not merely kidnapped. That horrible night, the young man--now only a little boy--was raped over 300 times. The monster smiled anew.
"And just like in the other places I've sent him--he can't be a hero. Only a victim."
Will saw the generals and admirals move toward their young victim. It was about to begin, and Peter was less than half the age he was in his native reality. A gloating voice cackled in grim triumph.
"And The Rock shall break."
------------------------------------------------
The women of the Tenchi Masaki shrine had the odd quirk of being instantly attracted to awkward but likable young men. But they were also among the toughest fighters around, and very willing to prove it.
The now-college age students known as The Sailor Scouts were a group of rather rough and tumble friends, emotionally speaking. They were as apt to turn on each other over nothing as they were to forgive a major betrayal. Their leader, and the one as likely to be blamed as praised, was Serena Usagi, the one named Sailor Moon. Four years ago, local time, she had fallen into a trap and entered the universe native to Saavik and Peter Kirk. Encountering Saavik and Penny in Japanimeopolis, she had mistaken their energy signatures for that of her fallen negaverse foes. A bit less prudent than they once were, the Scouts attacked twice without warning and were not only beaten but badly humiliated, mostly by the awakened powers of Penny Robinson.
Now, the two groups faced each other in sworn combat. In a Scout-created energy prison were Sword-Immortal Walter O'Reilly and former Starfleet Officer Wesley Crusher. They looked at one another, and at the ridiculous sight before them.
"Walter?"
"Yeah, Wes?"
"I don't tell Klinger or Methos about this, and you don't tell Geordi or Worf."
"You gotcha yerself a deal, there."
-----------------------------
Saavik lay, half-awake, while the returned Penny wiped her head. The Vulcan looked up."Penny--I have a few things that I must say."
The middle Robinson sibling shook her head.
"Belay that. Saavik, you are going to be fine. You're just weak because Peter is. When he's well, you'll be well again too."
Saavik closed her eyes.
"You are the only real friend I have ever had, outside my family."
Penny wiped away a tear.
"Same here. But don't do this. You're going to live."
"Liar. When I pass--you must become Peter's other half. I'm sorry for Will, but Peter cannot face Ghidorah alone. Captain Kirk is a good father. I never felt adopted. Not once. His son is made in his image and likeness. But he hides a side of him. He is sooooo fragile. That night stays with him. Please, Penny. Say you will do this. For your friend. I--I know that you and he find each other attractive."
Penny felt her heart almost give out. Peter was far too honorable to break with Saavik, ever. But she herself? She'd already said as much.
"Listen up, Saavik Brianna Kirk. You take care of your brother....."
She looked over at Will's sleeping form, and touched her stomach, where lay their child.
"....and I'll take care of mine."
"Penny?"
"Yes, Saavik?"
"That was pathetic."
"Go to sleep, Saavik."
---------------------------------------------
Blake Pierce played catch with her friend, Gohan Kakarotto. That the two young titans were doing so with a mountain was nobody's business but their own."Its too bad Sasami couldn't join us. She could keep score."
Blake shook her head.
"Nah. She and the other girls there have got crushes on Wes and my Uncle Walter."
"Well, your Uncle's cool. But Wesley Crusher? Oooh, Ick!!"
"Ah, he's not too bad. Ok, he's no Peter. But he knows his stuff. He has to. No one else wants it. By the way, how did the Sailor Scouts finally get out of that wall?"
"Rini came by with new clothes, and just blasted them out. Then, they came here, and tried to strip my Mom for revenge for the pictures I took."
Blake smiled.
"Chi-Chi? Ooooh, baaad mistake."
Gohan nodded.
"People forget that my Mom can beat my Dad in a fight, if she has to. But me and my Dad never do. Boy, she all but tore out Serena's pigtails by the roots! Then, she insulted Sailors Neptune and Uranus."
"For...being together?"
"No. For not getting married, if they're gonna carry on like they do. Me, I think Neptune's afraid of commitment. All the signs are there."
Just then, a being appeared next to Blake. It was Prince Vegita, a full Saiyen like Gohan's father.
"You little brat! You tell your father Hawkeye that I will make him pay for putting beans in my boots! I will send him to the next...."
The mountain struck Vegeta, who lay underneath it as the kids looked on.
"Sorry, Mister Vegeta."
"Geez, Vegeta. You should really watch where it is you're flying."
But he paid attention to neither of them.
"Ehh? There's some kind of fight at the Masaki Shrine? What are those women up to this time? Noooo....there's a power level over there...completely evil!"
Blake sensed it too, and gulped.
"Ghidorah."
------------------------------------------------
Will shook his head.
"You aren't Ghidorah. At least you're not The Ancient Destroyer. You're native to this reality, where everyone thinks you're just a fictional character."
The demon-child sneered.
"Doesn't matter. I can still earn my brother's gratitude, by killing his enemy for him. Watch now, as Peter Kirk is violated again, at half the age, and in an era with no transporters."
The thing cried out, as Peter fought against those holding him down.
"Try as you might, Peter--you can't be a hero, here."
General Cartwright slammed Peter in the head again.
"Did you hear Lord Ghidorah, punk? You can't be a hero. You're going to die, because that's what happens to little boys in this kind of trouble."
Peter stood up.
"Unlike you two, I'm not proud. Will, thanks for standing by me, through all this. You see, if I can't be a hero--then I need a hero."
His powerful mind could not defend him, here. But he could call for help.
"I need the greatest hero of them all!"
The roof above the Pentagon room began to shake, and shudder. Cartwright looked up, as did Bunson's counterpart. They all did. Because the jig was up. Forever.
"No---not HIM!!!"
As Peter and Will watched in delight, the roof opened up, and through the hole flew an archangel in Red and Blue. Like Peter, he was the last survivor of a doomed world. Cartwright screamed out his name, in rage and frustration.
"Superman!!"
"You've sunk low before, General. But kidnapping President Kirk's son? This time, its all coming out."
Peter leaped back to Japanimeopolis with Will, his health and powers restored. They watched with glee as Superman returned Peter's counterpart to his home at the White House, where a grateful President and First Lady awaited. Peter saw the boy's mother--Nyta Uhura, of course.
"Kaidith, Sra Nyota."
The Ghidorah of Japanimeopolis yelled out.
"This---isn't---over!!!!"
------------------------
Sailor Mars was determined to test the fighting skills of the legendary raider and space-pirate, Ryoko. Ryoko just wanted to kick Sailor Mars' butt all over creation."The Fiiiiirre THiiss TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMEE!!!"
"Oh, please, kid. Go back to Crystal City, if you're gonna play paddycakes like that."
As the spiral of flame struck Ryoko's position, she simply phased right through it.
"Mars---your stock is NOT rising. Ha-ha!"
Rei was not unhappy.
"That was the fire this time, pirate-scum. But next time, its water!"
"Whaaat? You can't make water. Only fire."
A cloud above Ryoko burst, a result of being heated by the flames. She was completely drenched, and quite miffed. She blew hair out of her face, and bit her lip.
"THIS MEANS WAAAARRRR!!!!"
Meanwhile, Princess Ayeka bowed politely at Sailor Moon.
"Now, as fellow Princesses, we should try to keep this combat civilized. Do you agree, Princess Serenity?"
Serena Usagi nodded.
"Oh, yes, Ayeka. And may I add one more thing? Boc-Boc-Boc-Boc-Boc!!"
Ayeka grew instantly annoyed.
"A Chicken, Am I? Storm Attack!"
Summoning thousands of tiny filaments, Ayeka surrounded Sailor Moon with lightning, that penetrated every atom of her being. When it was done, her pigtails still stood on end.
"Errrr...Moon....Something Or Other?"
Kiyone ran into a small problem, facing Sailor Venus.
"As Sailor V, you were in Terran law enforcement, and one of its most visible symbols."
"Yes. And I don't like the thought of attacking a Galaxy Police Detective. Its just bad policy. But if all our friends are fighting each other, then what do we do?"
Kiyone pulled out a small wrapper.
"Hey, there's all kinds of combat."
An hour later, their pitched battle still raged on and on.
"NO WAY! Pikachu's lightning burst fried him good!"
"Uh-uh. His hide is quite resistant to electricity."
"Yeah, but the burst went in his opened mouth."
"Er...Can that hurt him?"
"I'm not sure. Let's ditch these cards and get some real Pokemon, to confirm."
"Yeah. Boy, I pity the poor sap who put out these cards."
"Hmm. After all, why buy the cards when you just go out and catch some?"
Mihoshi had attempted to take out Sailors Mercury and Jupiter. She had failed.
"Boy, what a klutz, Jupiter."
"You know it, Mercury. She fired at us, missed, and got knocked out by her own backfire. Did she even hit anything at all?"
Just then, Mihoshi's ship fell down, having been knocked from its orbit by her wild shot. The Sailor Scouts found themselves trapped underneath it.
"You think maybe she's a savant?"
Washu aimed a Brobdignangian gun at Sailors Neptune and Uranus.
"All right, kiddies! I've got the drop on you with my implosion gun! And, brother, when it implodes something---it implodes something."
The young couple braced themselves for impact. That was good, because the impact on Washu was tremendous. She stood, blackened and charred.
"Wellll, waddya know--it imploded."
Sasami freed Walter O'Reilly and Wesley Crusher.
"Hey, thanks there, Sami."
"Yes. But why aren't you fighting anyone?"
"Oh, well, my only opponent was Sailor Saturn, and right now she's reverted into a baby. I gave her a tickle-fit, and let it go at that."
Walter nodded.
"Guess we know why it is Blake hangs with her, huh Wes? Wes?"
But Crusher looked up.
"Time is ending all around us. Something bad is up."
"Er.. ain't something bad kind of a given when time is ending?"
"Not so you'd think, Radar."
Inside, Peter Kirk awoke, as did Saavik. They said one word together.
"Him."
-----------------------------------------------
Blasting out of the house, Peter turned to the freed Wesley Crusher.
"Wes---go to the universe I'm showing you telepathically. Bring HIM."
The young Traveler nodded.
"Gotcha."
He vanished, and Kirk turned to Radar.
"Walter--break up that fight."
The protege of the Highlanders rubbed his hands.
"Oh, yeah, I been waitin' fer this."
When an Immortal died without another present, their Quickening went to Walter O'Reilly. As a result, he was quite powerful, even if his sword-arm had centuries to go before even approaching those of his mentors. Lightning from his hands flew into the lake over which the female residents of the Masaki Shrine fought with the Sailor Scouts. The ladies were caught unprepared, and even the most powerful of them was shocked into sudden attention. Peter glared at all of them, and said a few simple words.
"You're heroes. Act Like It."
Sailor Uranus glared right back.
"And suppose some of us aren't very impressed by chest-thumping machismo?" Peter shrugged.
"Then don't be impressed. I'm not looking for obedience. Just cooperation. And a stranger shouldn't have to remind you of who you are."
Sailor Moon waved happily.
"Hey, Peter! Remember me? Back at The Academy?"
He sighed loudly.
"Hello, Bunny."
She pointed at the house.
"Remember that witch, Saavik, you used to hang out with? Well, in the name of the moon---all our moons---we are here to punish her! Have you seen her?"
Peter closed his eyes.
"Bunny----"
"Um, its Serena."
"Serena----"
"I mean, I went by the name Bunny Serenity, but I'm really Serena Usagi, but in the future, I'll be Princess Serenity. Then, there's my daughter and her daughter.....wellll, it all gets realllly confusing, after a while."
"Serena, shut up."
"HEYYYY!! I just asked you where that stuck-up witch Saavik was."
Peter pointed to a band on his finger.
"Saavik has one of these, too."
"Oh? Why'd you exchange rings?"
Mars leaned up to her oft-dense friend.
"Serena---she's his wife."
"No way! No way would he marry that Lou-sir!"
Rei grabbed her pigtails, and pulled.
"APPARENTLY, HE DID! NOW LETS ALL ATTACK BEFORE HE CAN GATHER HIMSELF!!"
Peter closed his eyes again.
"Here I thought only guys were this stupid."
The attacks began.
"Mercury----FLOOOWWW!!!"
"Venus-----STUNNNERR!!!"
"Moon------PHASES!"
"Mars------Red SHIFFFFTTT!!!"
"Jupiter-----Gravity WEEELLLL!!!"
"Saturn---RING TOSSS ATAAACCKK!!!"
"Neptune-----DELUUUGGGGGE!!"
"Uranus----SKY BOLT!!!!"
"Pluto------DEEEP FREEEEZZE!!!"
The energies spiraled in an arc, and joined into one, striking the exact spot where Peter stood. Serena clapped.
"We got him!"
"Did you really get him?"
"Oh, sure! We----we---we--weee?"
Peter floated behind them, chomping on a carrot.
"Ladies--a word of advice. Master Roschi's Turtle could have avoided that attack."
With a nod to Will and Saavik, Peter took off with Penny Robinson. As they flew, she asked the obvious.
"Pete----how do we stop this Ghidorah? Is he as powerful as The Ancient Destroyer?"
"No, thankfully. But he is strong. We need help."
"Whose help?"
"Penny, my enciente friend, we need to see a man called Goku about building a very big bomb!"
-------------------------
Saavik stood in midair, quite unimpressed by the assembled Sailor Scouts who were there to punish her.
Sailor Moon finally broke the silence.
"How could you, Saavik? How could you leave us stuck in that wall---naked?!!"
Saavik maintained her Vulcan calm, or at the very least, her calm.
"Penny stuck you in that wall. We both stripped your lower bodies. Blake Pierce then stripped your upper bodies. This was after you attacked us unprovoked--twice. Then as now, you had alcohol on your breaths. I suggest that you all go home and sleep it off."
Now Rei, or Sailor Mars, stepped forward.
"Face me on the ground, witch! No powers--just martial arts against martial arts. VG Rules! Loser has to strip in front of everyone!"
Saavik raised an eyebrow.
"I agree--except for two things. One - I shall use no powers--but you may. Two---"
Saavik gestured, and she was nude in an instant.
"---I shall fight, as I was born. If I win, this matter is settled and all grudges forgotten. And if you win---the same."
Will Robinson had seen her like this before, but neither Walter O'Reilly nor the returning Wesley Crusher had, this fully.
"Saavik?"
She kissed Crusher, full on the lips.
"I have wanted to do that. Don't worry--Peter knows."
As he stared and gasped, Wes was set upon once again by Ryoko.
"Boy--doncha just hate wanton sluts? Please say no."
A bit taken by his unclad friend, Wes turned and looked at the space-pirate.
"No---I love wanton sluts. Show me just how wanton you are."
Ryoko scratched her head.
"Well, okay. But I've been hanging around Tenchi for so long, I'll have to remember just how it all goes first."
As they went off, Walter just turned away.
"Nahhh--my wife is a witch. She'd turn me inta a golf-club or somethin'. An if she didn't, then Peg or Endora would."
Besides all that, Radar O'Reilly just plain worshipped Erin Hunnicutt.
Rei launched her best attacks against her opponent, and each one connected in turn. Saavik seemingly could not turn her kicks, punches, and sweeps away.
"HA! Knocked you on your ample bare posterior again, Saav-suck! You can't even get in a single shot!"
Saavik merely got up while she was chortling, walked up to her, and landed a devastating uppercut. Sailor Mars was knocked cold.
"Take note. That was a single shot."
Recovering herself--to the great disappointment of Will and two certain Sailor Scouts--Saavik turned and looked around.
"Next?!"
Sailor Moon ran up, crying.
"Why do you keep humiliating us like this? I thought we were friends, back at Starfleet Academy!"
Saavik shook her head.
"Friends do not take advantage of one another, as when I offered to help you do your homework, and you tricked me into doing it all on a regular basis. As when you used my Embassy expense account to go shopping with, which embarrassed me in front of Sri Sarek. As when you spied on me and Peter--when we were together. AS WHEN YOU MADE AN EFFORT TO TAKE HIM AWAY FROM ME! Is that your definition of friendship, 'Bunny'? Because mine includes none of those things. Nor does it include drunken attacks that--for the record--disrobed me and Penny first. Poor Penny had only just learned of her pregnancy by Will."
As one, the Scouts spoke up.
"OOOH-----ICKKKK!!!!"
Will Robinson nodded.
"We get that a lot."
Serena tried one last time.
"Can--can we be friends now?"
Saavik smiled.
"Of course. Now, all matters are settled."
The Scouts flew off, to check on the darkening skies above. Will asked Saavik a question.
"So why'd you strip? To psych her out?"
"No. It is simply that here in the city of Japanimeopolis, it seems the thing to do."
Meanwhile, Penny and Peter had reached Goku, also known as Kakaroto of Saiyajin.
"Gee--you want me to help you build a spirit bomb? How do you know how to do that?"
Peter shrugged.
"Your counterpart in my universe showed me. Are you up for it?"
"Hey, sure! But your friend there seems a little flabby for this kind of activity."
Penny winced at the great warrior's denseness, a denseness rivalled only by Sailor Moon.
"Um..Goku? I'm pregnant."
"Gee, you are? Well, you better lose some weight, or your child will be out of shape, too."
Another party was heard from. Prince Vegita, Goku's fellow Saiyen.
"I've heard talk of you, Peter Kirk! But I'll bet I can take you out in a single shot."
Not restricted in the use of his powers, Peter slammed Vegita with an uppercut. The arrogant Prince was knocked cold.
"Take note. That, then, was a single shot."
The three began to build their energies, while, behind them, two tails skimmed the upper atmosphere.
The skies above Japanimeopolis darkened. Warriors stopped dueling. Lovers stopped loving. Villains stopped planning.
What clouds there were parted. A three-megameter apparition now covered most of the visible sky.
Ghidorah had arrived. Not the Ancient Destroyer, but this universe's version. And now, no one was laughing.
"Alright, whose sworn arch-nemesis was that?"
"Is that a dragon or is someone big on phallic symbols?"
"Suit up--and get the hell out of here!"
Standing on a very high mountaintop, Penny Robinson, Peter Kirk, and Goku began to build the energies for a spirit bomb.
"Guys--don't let it get too big. All this warrior energy could send us into the dimension AFTER the next dimension!"
Since spirit bombs were built up from the available energies of a world, one built up from the superhuman-dominated Japanimeopolis would be awesome indeed. So Goku's concerns were, in theory, valid. But Peter Kirk belayed his instructions.
"NO! We want as much power as we can get. Don't worry, GK--I know what I'm doing."
"GK? Why do you call me GK?"
"Because the Kakarott of my universe was adopted by my parents, so he could care for Marc, our little brother. He's now George Samuel Kirk The Third--or GK."
"Huh. No offense, Pete--but your parents sound pretty lazy."
Penny shook her head.
"Goku--do not get any of us started about our parents!"
She began to sweat.
"Something's interfering with the flow!"
Goku nodded.
"That's because you're trying to protect the child. Let him be a part of this."
Penny did, and found the most interesting side-effect as a result.
"I'm---a blonde! Oh, Will's in for a treat."
As Peter's hair began to glow as well, Goku shrugged.
"Huh. Most Terrans can't do that."
Well outside of Earth's orbit, the glowing sphere grew and grew.
Below, Saavik, Will, Blake Pierce, and Gohan joined the floating Sailor Scouts.
"Serena--do you and your friends have the ability to affect the heart and the soul?"
Surprised that Saavik's word about the end of hostilities was valid, Sailor Moon nodded.
"Uh-sure. But only to cleanse them of evil."
"Good. Ghidorah feeds on despair. You must combat this on the ground, or he will win."
To their minds, they were finally being shown respect, so the Scouts flew off to combat despair as they had been asked. Saavik grinned as they did.
"Well, that gets them out of the way."
Will nodded.
"You're good."
Gohan now surged forward.
"Masienkho----ATTTTAAACCKKK!!!"
Brilliant lights flew from the young warrior's hands, and these cut off Ghidorah's tails. Blake shook her head.
"Betcha he doesn't change back into whatever he was."
While warriors of the heart fought panic and despair below, warriors of the fist fought the dragon above. Finally, the bomb was ready. Peter Kirk cried out.
"All right, everyone! I'm projecting it out into the asteroid field between Mars and Jupiter."
Everyone stared at him.
"Er---the planets, not the Scouts."
At the Masaki shrine, Wes struggled to slow Ghidorah's descent through manipulation of the Beast's local time. He was failing fast.
"Walter--get ready!"
As Wes collapsed, to be picked up by a concerned Sasami, Ghidorah began to rain lightning down upon the Earth. But Walter was indeed ready.
"Yeah! That's right! I'm drawin' you in! Ain't so bad! Ain't so tough!"
But since O'Reilly could not keep this up forever, the time had come to move. Above, an exhausted Vegita turned to his ally and sometime friend.
"Kakarott! The damned thing's too big! No one here can force it away. Its UNREAL!!"
But then, suddenly, it moved. The creature shrieked, and shook. But the man in red and blue below him was not one to give up. Penny smiled.
"I guess--this was a job for Superman!"
Before flying off, the greatest hero of them all turned and winked.
At the asteroid field, the bomb, four times the size of Ghidorah, obliterated this local version forever.
While a celebration went on all over this odd alternate Earth, Penny and Peter merely walked through the forest near the Masaki Shrine.
"So--Saavik said, that as long as we just have one kiss, we can talk about whatever we want?"
Peter nodded, happy for this quiet moment. If one version of his enemy could be beaten---then there was hope. Penny grinned.
"Tell me every last thing you would do to me, if we weren't both spoken for."
And as Wes enjoyed the company of the 'geek-grabbers', and as Blake helped her Uncle Walter discharge his excess energy, and as Saavik kept a silent watch over her husband and best friend, Peter Kirk talked dirty to Penny Robinson. Will visited the city proper, where he met a buxom archaeologist named Lara. It was Penny's payment to him for her time with Wesley.
It was not a happy ending. But it was a happy moment, and those, it is known, are quite rare.
THE END