(Opening Credits)

"FARPOINT FREE-FOR-ALL---OR WAS THIS ENCOUNTER REALLY NECESSARY?"
 
(Q sits in judgement over the TNG crew)
 
Q : We declare thee to be a morally inferior and corrupt species, in need of our merciful killing.
 
(Tasha pulls her sidearm and is frozen)

Data : Excuse me, Mister Q. I would prefer that you did not freeze Lt. Yar.

Q : Oh, really? Begone!

(Disperses Data's atoms)

Q : Ha! He'll not bother us again!
 
(Data is standing on the other side of the throne)
 
Data : Indeed. The dispersal seemed most complete.
 
Q : (Raises Eyebrow) What?!
 
(Calls down lightning; Data is fried)
 
Q : I didn't miss him that time.
 
Data : The empirical evidence would seem to suggest that is correct.

(Now, Q starts openly)
 
Q : Yah! (Pushes Data out window; It is thousands of feet down)

Q : Lets see him come back from that one!
 
(Data looks out the window with him)
 
Data : It would be most disconcerting if that occurs.
 
Q : But I--but you---but I---you must have a self-teleporter stuck inside you. (Tries to open Data's chest-plate; Is slapped back)

Data : Let us not get nosy, now.
 
(Q degraviates Data, sending him to a far distant but visible mountain that he then ignites into a volcano)
 
Q : Now that he's done with, let us review man's barbaric past. Behold, the grunting, wasteful Neanderthal!

(He gestures, and a Neanderthal in caveman garb appears with his back to them; It grunts three times, then turns around. Guess who it is---)

Data : This is a poor example with which to make your case. Neanderthals were hunter-gatherers very much in tune with and at peace with their environment.
 
(Now, Q's eyes bug-out and his jaw drops)

Q : Leave me alone!

(Pulls out Data's arm, only to find wiring running seemingly forever; He pulls and pulls)
 
Q : This will teach you a lesson---I---
 
(At the end of the wiring is a message)
 
'LONG DARN ARM, WASN'T IT?'

Q : I--I must confer with the other Q!
 
Data : To that end, please borrow my communicator.
 
Q : (Not thinking) Thanks. Hello, Q Continuum?
 
(It is a stick of dynamite, of course; The explosion does not affect Q--directly)

Q : Blast them! They've banished me again! I need a drink.
 
Data : Please take this one I have made.
 
Q : Nooo. I'll take the one you're having. I'm wise to you.
 
(They drink, then stare at one another. Q begins to turn various pastels)
 
Q : What--was in that drink?
 
Data : It was green. As you are now.
 
Picard : An incoming message from The Enterprise!
 
Q : I'll take that!
(He reads)
 
'GALACTIC NEWS NETWORK BREAKING NEWS : Q FALLS FOR CORNY OLD GAG.'

Q : (Livid) Stop playing games, or I'll kill the woman!
 
(Data slowly walks up; Grabs Q by the collar)
 
Data : You know what? Had I emotions---that would make me mad.
 
(He bodyslams Q hundreds of times, without effort or strain, all over the judges chambers; Twirls him, hurls him. Things
break)
 
(Q is now in Sickbay, bandaged from head to toe)
 
Q : Could it be that Doctor Soong built more than one android?
 
(Around the many corridors of the Ent-D, we see about 1000 Datas)

All Datas : What do you think, Bub?
 
Picard : This picture would have been much better with MY story!