2151The Captain entered the Bridge, a quite jolly CO. A red-nosed reindeer entered with him.
"Ho--so this is the Starship Enterprise. The ship that can take us all over the known galaxy in one night. Its been a long road getting here."
Rudolph developed a bit of a sneer.
"Begging the Captain's pardon, but we'd have gotten this ship moving a lot faster if the Elves hadn't acted to hold us back, all these years."
"No one knows that better than I, Rudolph. Why, the Kringles worked with Zefram Cochrane to develop the basic technology for this ship. But for now, let's ignore the Elves and...."
*Put One Foot In Front Of The Other, And Soon We'll Be Warping Through Plutoooo; Put One Foot In Front Of The Other--And Soon We'll Be Warping Past The Borg!*
His song done, Captain Kringle took a tour of his ship. A small donkey tripped over his enormous ears, running over to him.
"Ensign Nestor, reporting for duty, Captain. I'm--I'm Navigation. Sorry about the ears. I'm not an Elf, by the way."
Lt. Cmdr. Rudolph lit up his nose, and smiled at the nervous youngster.
"Don't worry, kid. This isn't the 20th Century. We misfits all have a place, here in Starfleet. See...."
*We're a couple of misfits; But we beat all the bigots; Now's the era for misfits; That's how we will win!*
The small donkey perked up.
"Thank you, sir. I feel like I could carry this whole ship on my back, now."
Into the Doctor's offices they went, finding the Doctor quite immobile. Rudolph grabbed something in his mouth.
"Capftan--hif environmental headgeat!"
Captain Kringle placed the headgear upon the resident of Haagen Daaz One.
He awoke with a start.
"Happy Birthday! Boy, this is a really neat ship. I can't wait til somebody gets sick and nearly dies."
Doctor Frosty needed to work on his bedside manner. In Engineering, Kringle and Rudolph were nearly skewered by a pick-axe.
"Sorry, sirs. Just testin' the warp field stability."
Engineer Cornelius then tasted the edge of the pick-axe.
"Nothin'. Not a trace of deuterium, or other warp-field by-products. Keep tryin' boys!"
Leaving the odd man to his work, Captain Kringle called over another reindeer.
"Rudolph, this is our translator and Communications Officer, Clarice."
Rudolph nodded.
"Hi, Clarice. Long time no see."
"That was your choice, Rudolph. You left without saying goodbye."
"If I had said goodbye--could you have let me go?"
She looked down.
"No. You're--you're still cute, Rudolph."
As she walked away, Rudolph smiled.
"She thinks I'm cute!"
Finally, the Elf shuttle arrived. Rudolph looked at his Captain.
"You know he's gonna say it. All elves say it. Its in their silver and gold blood."
"Rudolph, there's a line regarding such comments. Now, I don't like this much more than you. But the Elves have been as much help as hindrance, as we sought out this last frontier."
"He's gonna say it!"
The Elf, Sub-Commander Hermie, looked about as he disembarked.
"Ahh. Humans and Reindeer. Such a tragic lack of proper Elfin dental hygiene."
Before Kringle could order Rudolph not to say the obvious, the Elf got to the point with typical bluntness.
"Captain, let me see your prisoner."
The shaggy abomination was bound in the brig. Hermie studied the alien.
"Captain, we can't return this Bumbles! His teeth have all been removed. His people will regard him as forever lost, and view us with anger for retrieving him this way."
Kringle shook his head.
"No. We're taking this fella home, Sub-Commander. This is a North Pole operation, not an Elf one, last I checked."
And so the standoff began.
Next Week :
The chronally shadowed figure stared at Kringle.
"You want to know who I am, Nicholas? Wellll....."
*I'm Mister Revision; I'm Mister Chron; I'm Mister AUness; I'm Mister Anomalous; They call me TimeMiser; Whatever I touch; Alters history in my clutch; I'm--too much---*
Smaller versions of the figure then began to dance and sing in front of him, providing a chorus.