---------------------------------------------------"I'm Going Home, I've Done My Time. Now I'm Going To See What Is And Isn't Mine." -- Tony Orlando&Dawn - Tie A Yellow Ribbon
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Prologue - The Third DayAfter a bizarre interlude with the cosmic trickster of his crew's acquaintance, Kirk walked into Spock's cabin. On the comm-screen was Sarek.
"Jim--my father wishes to speak with you."
Kirk asked what he felt was the obvious question.
"Sarek? Is Saavik alright?"
The Ambassador nodded. Jim's concern for his adopted daughter never diminished.
"She is fine, James. Has Spock prepared you for my news?"
Kirk grew more and more anxious.
"Yes. Although he won't tell me what he's preparing me for."
Sarek again nodded.
"Trust, James. This event--requires preparation. I would like you to speak with a young man, here with me. Will you?"
Wondering what a young Vulcan would have to say to him, Jim agreed.
"Of course. Put him on."
Sarek left the screen, and someone else entered. Jim felt Spock seat him. The sight on the screen took the legs out from under him.
The young man was not a Vulcan, at least by appearances. He was human, and he had once cut Kirk's heart out of his chest by dying at age 13. He was still 13, to see him. But he was not dead. Nor was he any sort of phony. Despite all common sense, despite all---logic---he was Jim Kirk's firstborn son. The Captain just shook his head.
"Is it you?"
Tearing up, the boy-man nodded.
"It is I."
Putting aside the formal response, Jim asked again. He was afraid he'd wake up, as he had so often in these kinds of bleary circumstances.
"Peter?"
Each saw and drew strength from the approval and love in the other's eyes. It would be eight years more before they admitted they were father and son. Right then, no legalities mattered.
The young man said words he had waited ten years to utter, to the one who would always be his hero.
"Uncle Jim? I'm Alive!"
Chapter One - Where Have You Been, My Blue-Eyed Son?
Through the vid, Jim felt it. He was not guided by the intuition of a trained Starfleet officer. Whatever secrets his family possessed, they did not come into play, here, either. No telepathic projection from Spock or Sarek was at work.
Jim just knew that this was the real Peter Kirk, who had done the one thing his legal uncle and biological father had never done. Come back from the dead. Kirk touched the screen, despite all common sense.
"You're alive. Peter---where have you been?"
The question was asked in anxiety, albeit a happy anxiety. But to Peter, it sounded a bit like he was being scolded for an overlong afternoon stroll.
"Where? Uncle Jim, I was kidnapped."
Kirk quickly realized his error in asking the question in that manner.
"Peter, I'm sorry. I just want to know who did it? Who took you away from me? Who killed your grandmother?"
A mind-meld with Sarek had calmed the young man, prior to this call. This now began to break under the Captain's understandably haphazard interrogation.
"Brianna hit me."
Jim remembered the seemingly transformed woman who actually apologized for her behavior, not long before her death.
"But didn't she stop, Peter?"
Peter shook his head.
"That wasn't Brianna. I killed Brianna. That lady was Grandma. My real Grandma."
Jim kept right on, his heart racing too fast to see where this was leading. As literally everyone from Nyota to Q had noted, he just didn't handle good news very well.
"Peter, that isn't what I asked you. Now tell me who was responsible. I want to punish them."
Despite his lack of control, Peter remembered Sarek's harsh but necessary words about why the kidnappers and captors could not be identified to Jim. For those people were at the very top echelon of Starfleet Command itself. Jim could attack them, conceivably. But with the power of the corrupt Admiralty Hall at its very pinnacle, even he could not win.
"You should have stopped them. Where they put me---it was so cold."
Cryogen, Jim thought. That was why he was still 13.
"Peter, who were 'they'?"
The boy shook his head.
"I--don't remember."
Jim felt something snap inside him.
"You have to! I've waited ten years for these answers! Do you have any idea what losing you did to me?"
Spock whispered to his friend.
"Jim--this is not one of the kidnappers you address. It is Peter himself."
Kirk could have talked about Spock's inattention to Saavik, but besides there being no point to that, Spock was right. Sloppy in his approach, Jim had blown this opportunity to speak calmly with Peter. The answers could have waited.
Now, the tortured young man shot back.
"What it did--to you? I was in hell for those ten years, Jim! Look at me! I'm twenty-three years old---but I sure don't look it. I was about to enter the best period of my life. Instead, all I have are nightmares and voices. I'm sorry for your vengeance, Captain Kirk, but I can't tell you who did it. I'm a mess, in more ways than one. I had just barely put Deneva in the background. Grandma had--changed. Then someone comes along and kills me. I was dead. I----was---I didn't exist any-- I was in hell, and I didn't do a single thing to deserve ending up there. Have you ever seen The Devil, Uncle Jim? Well, I have. Pray hard you never find out what it looks like."
He was shaking fi to bust, now. Sarek led him away, and both officers on The Enterprise noted that the elder Vulcan showed no discomfort with the strong emotions present.
"James---I will relate how we recovered Peter in a few moments. In the interim, I ask that you speak with the one who actually retrieved him from his cryogenic prison."
Another young person filled the screen, as the sounds of Peter's sobs faded in the next room. Once again, both Jim and Spock knew well who this was.
"Hello, Daddy. Greetings--Commander Spock."
Now, Jim felt both anger and pride. Anger that Sarek would use this child on a dangerous mission of retrieval. Pride that the one who had rescued his son--had been his own daughter.
"Hello, Saavik."
Chapter Two - And Where Have You Been, My Darling Young One?
Jim thought back on this, the most joyous day of his life in longer than he could recall. Half that joy now stood on screen. They were each delighted to see one another. It hadn't always been so.
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VULCAN, 2271Kirk was exhausted. He had used up a week's leave to see her, swearing to keep a better watch over this child than he had Peter. Not that Sarek and Amanda were even remotely like Brianna, but leaving a child without a real parent about was not something he would do, ever again.
But Saavik had only one thing on her 9-year old mind.
"Where is Spock? Uncle Jim, you promised you would bring him--and you
lied!!"To say that Jim had been through a long year was an understatement.
His return to Earth after the end of the five-year mission had been marred. The Federation Council's nosey, execrable Science and Exploration Committee had hauled him up on charges of genocide, concerning such life forms as the Salt Vampire, the Mugato, and even the parasitic cloud responsible for the loss of the Intrepid.
At first, it seemed that Grand Admiral Nogura was going to get his way, to place Jim behind a desk. He had even introduced an obvious bribe in the form of Admiral Lori Ciana. Her--presence--had accelerated the long-coming breakup between Jim and Nyota Uhura.
Then, oddly enough, Admiralty Hall had stepped in on Kirk's behalf. They had used their growing power to override Nogura via parliamentary maneuvers. They placed the Enterprise's refit on an ultra-warp track, to be finished within a month. They had carefully cancelled transfers and promotions. Kirk's core crew and some of those on the second-tier were all with him once again.
Then came the catch.
At the relaunch ceremony, Commodore Cartwright had spoken of how much he envied the newest Admiral--James T. Kirk. When Jim had strongly and publicly refused the 'honor' and his attendant berth at The Hall, he later found that he was still technically an Admiral. Standing orders to his crew meant he would never be addressed as such.
If he thought that siding with xenophobes against his mentor to keep his ship, losing the woman he loved while still having her five feet away, all topped by bureaucrats slamming him with the uncomprehending help of an increasingly distant Spock was the limit of all grief, he was wrong.
The little, insistent voice cried out yet again, and even Amanda and Sarek were fearful of approaching her in this state.
"Where is Spock? Why did you tell me he was coming when he wasn't? I hate you!!!"
Kirk wanted to tell the vengeful child a few things. How it was not his original desire to adopt her. About how the absent Spock she was screaming for seemingly regarded her as the living symbol of Stern Vulcan's rape by Proud Romulus. How his contempt for a child's feelings ran into the sublime and ridiculous. But while Jim didn't know that Spock was shielding himself from personal memories of rape, and that Saavik knew on some level who her birth-father was, he did know one thing that kept him from tearing into the little girl.
He loved them both with all his heart. As he loved Nyota. As he loved the lost Peter. As he still loved 'Uncle Heichi' Nogura, once a stumbling ensign under Jim's father George. He was just that way.
"I'm sorry, Saavik. Very sorry."
He turned and left. Within a minute, a voice turned from shrill to pleading.
"Don't Go!"
He held her, offered up an excuse that Spock had made for breaking his promise, and asked his son's spirit to watch over her. Then he ignored her tears and left.
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USS ENTERPRISE, 2278
His son's spirit had returned to its body. His daughter had retrieved his son from an obvious hell. His children were together. Why, then, wasn't Jim Kirk a happy man?
"Daddy, is something wrong?"
'Daddy' was a very human term. She had called him that very early on, after the incursion into Hellguard. Then, for years, it had been 'Uncle Jim'. But as it came to be clear to both of them that Spock would never step forward and adopt her himself, a friendly alliance became a family. It was a fair exchange, Jim thought. He gave her a name. She gave him the heart that Jim thought he lost when Peter died.
"No, honey. Nothing's wrong. Not any more. You and Sarek just went and made everything all right again. Where did you find him?"
Saavik lightly bit her lip, telling Jim that he would get no further with her than with the tortured Peter. He had learned his lesson, and immediately backed off. But Sarek was going to get it with both barrels. Gratitude or no, Captain Kirk would have answers. He would have justice--or its equivalent.
"I---cannot say. You should ask Sri Sarek. I am sorry."
Jim shook his head.
"No. I am. I pushed way too hard with Peter. Honey, all that matters is that you kept that promise you made. You brought your brother back to me. I am sooo proud of you. More so than usual."
Kirk made one connection.
"Saavik, have you told Peter yet that I adopted you as I did him?"
"No, Daddy. I have elected not to. He is yet quite fragile, as you have seen. I speculated that he might think that he had been replaced in some manner.
"Impossible, kiddo. No one could replace either of you. Ever."
Another voice, silent until then, kicked in.
"Saavik-kam, I compliment you. Your choice in the matter of what information to allow Peter Kirk to know was very highly logical."
Both Jim, present with Spock, and Saavik onscreen stared at him in wonder. Rather than explore this oddity in the relationship between his daughter and his thy'la, Jim turned back to Saavik.
"I agree, Saavik. In fact, I'll leave the timing of this matter to you. You can be the one to tell him. Trust me--he'll be as delighted as I've always been. I think he's always wanted someone like you."
Saavik nodded.
"And I want him."
Both Kirk and Spock felt an odd twinge, but let it pass.
Sarek then returned, and Saavik smiled as she left, presumably to attend to Peter. When the door closed in Sarek's study, Jim was unsparing towards a man who had complete control over his emotions.
In theory, that is.
Chapter Three - A Hard Rain
Every Vulcan knows the following statement to be a literal untruth.
Vulcans Do Not Lie.
Yet, in a figurative way, this statement is the most basic of truths. For if a small deception will purchase a life, then a Vulcan will lie with a face straighter than normal, if need be. Honor and dignity and even trust may be regained, eventually. Life is notably more difficult in this regard. So a lie may be stomached, if barely.
Yet, what if that lie may literally raise an innocent from the dead, and to safety fro his killers? What if that innocent, in turn, could save the shriveled soul of another innocent? What if those two innocents, when joined together, were destined to save all of creation?
Sarek knew the answer to that. A Vulcan could and would lie, if need there was. A Vulcan could even live a lie, if the safety and lives of untold trillions was at stake. Not to mention the fate of two young hearts, wounded beyond knowing.
Sarek had made his choice, but he would keep the real truth with him. For it was one thing to live a lie. Believing one's own lie was the road to damnation.
Kirk's questions were simple. But each question had two answers. One false, and one true but unspoken.
"Sarek, where was Peter all these years?"
"James, your nephew was taken by parties as yet largely unknown. He was held in a cryo-stasis tube. The known side effects of such stasis are his only apparent difficulties."
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"James, your son was kidnapped and brutally abused by your own superiors in Starfleet Command. They told you he was dead, raped him and performed unholy experiments upon him meant to draw down a fetid demon most do not believe exists. His mind is fragile. His soul has been invaded. His body shakes when anyone except Saavik moves to touch him."
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"Sarek, how did you find him?"
"James, I hold numerous contacts, including one in the terrorist community whose name I do not know. This person informed me of Peter's existence and whereabouts. It was arranged that I should find Peter. This individual finds child kidnapping distasteful. But I was forced to vow that I would not seek this contact or his former cohorts. I had no choice but to agree."
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"James, the beings known as The Prophets Of Bajor spoke to me and let me know that Peter was alive. In telepathic dreams, Peter contacted me and told me where he was. We were forced to enter the very lair of the enemy--Admiralty Hall. Your Admiral Bunson taunted him at that moment in a grotesque way."
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"Sarek, why did you have Saavik retrieve him?"
"James, my contact asked that someone unobtrusive retrieve Peter. A Federation Ambassador would hardly go unnoticed."
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"James, I needed a killer to enter a lair of killers. I reawoke Saavik's killer instinct from Hellguard. I also learned how all the love she has received from we three has not undone the stain on her young soul."
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"How are she and Peter--getting along."
"There are disagreements. But they are beginning to act like true siblings. I believe they will be a great source of comfort to one another."
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"They are as one. T'Nia says they are Bonded From Birth. She further tells me that their early sexual union must be tolerated in order that they may work out their abuse. Your children were born married to one another, James. They must save the universe from Gh'draeh. Their path will be long and hard."
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"James, would you like to speak to Peter? I believe he has recovered himself."
"Sarek, I couldn't want anything more."
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"Sarek, I pushed too hard before. I think I pushed my son away. I'm scared out of my mind that he isn't real or that he'll leave me again. He--frightens me. I think--he's changed. Can he forgive a father who couldn't save him?"
Chapter Four - Pride And Joy
Jim vowed not to repeat his earlier mistakes when talking to Peter.
"The first thing I want you to know is that I Love You. The second thing is that I am so very very glad that you are alive. The third thing is that I'm proud of you, Peter. You've obviously been through a lot. Whenever you want to talk to me about what happened, or what you remember, we will. Not a minute before. I also want to ask you and Saavik to keep building a friendship. You'll be surprised at just how much you two have in common. The last thing before I pause this message is that once again, I love you, and I will come to see you just as soon as humanly possible. This time, I won't blow it, son. Adoption doesn't mean a damned thing to me. My child is my child. I've been granted a bona fide miracle, but I will never take you for granted, ever again."
Peter was lost for words, briefly, but finally spoke.
"I do remember fighting back, Uncle Jim. But I didn't fight them hard enough. Its painful, trying to think of what followed."
Jim stepped in swinging.
"Belay that talk, Mister. Whatever happened, whatever they did to you, it wasn't your fault. Our family may be made up of sailors, Peter. But while we know a few tricks, we have no cans of spinach. The Bright Lady taught us how to endure. She never taught us invincibility."
Jim paused the message-transmit, and Spock led in the next speaker. He left, the emotion of the day overwhelming the Vulcan. As he went, Spock wondered anew how Sarek held himself in all this.
"Jim?"
"Nyota, come here. There's someone I'd like you to speak to."
Uhura wondered why her sometime-lover wanted to see her again, mere hours after an intense session together. But then she looked at the small view-screen, and gasped.
"Nooo...is it?"
Jim smiled and resumed the transmission.
"Say hello, Peter."
The boy smiled again at the first woman to actually hold and cuddle him as an infant. Their bond had always been a very real one. Mother and Son were reunited, despite two deaths and four planets and endless conspiracies. Bodies aside, this was the child Jim and Nyota conceived on bloody Tarsus.
"Nyota? Oh, My God. You still look so beautiful. I've missed you. Sometimes, in cryo, I would dream about you and Uncle Jim. I think it kept me going."
She saw that he was not the same boy, despite appearances. He had been wounded, and a desire welled within her to see those who had hurt him pay dearly.
"Peter, where are you? Where have---"
Jim motioned quickly, and she didn't finish asking the second question. Peter nodded.
"I'm on Vulcan. Ambassador Sarek and Saavik brought me back. Will you come to see me with Uncle Jim, Nyota?"
Uhura nodded.
"I'll be there. That was my promise, Peter. Then as now."
So many questions were left wholly unanswered, then. But with the one basic truth being established beyond all doubt, those questions and concerns could wait. Peter looked at the soon-to-be-again couple, and wiped tears away.
"I love you two more than I love my own parents. I know how that sounds. But its the truth. I want to see you both very badly, very soon."
Amanda waved and smiled at the screen as she led away a Peter who seemed on the verge of swooning. Sarek nodded.
"James, we await you, here on Vulcan. They both await you. A new hope has emerged. Kaidith."
As the screen went blank, the lips of a Captain and his subordinate locked as tightly as they had on Tarsus, 29 years before. A couple was reborn along with the son of their souls. In fact, neither had ever truly died.
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Kirk tried outright pleading, despite knowing how little good it would
do."Admiral Cartwright, I appreciate a direct request from our CIC. But after ten years, there is a young man who needs me a great deal more than this conference ever could."
To Cartwright, delaying the Kirks' private reunion was worth any price. If the boy chose to tell The Captain who had taken him, then The Hall was in a great deal of trouble.
"Poor Admiral Nogura said you needed a kick in the pants sometimes, Kirk. That direct request just became a Direct Order. Cartwright out."
Kirk said only six words.
"Senior Staff to my Ready Room."
In other words, everyone he could trust without question to the most secure room on the ship. Each member of the six took turns suggesting ways to make the room even more secure. Things in Starfleet had taken a dark turn in the last three years. The Captain Of The Enterprise had to allow for the possible existence of secret political officers, answerable to Admiralty Hall. He found this idea repulsive.
Sulu spoke first.
"For that genocidal pig to invoke Nogura's name makes me wish I really were a Musketeer."
Chekov nodded.
"I'd call him a madman. But I do not vish to insult Rasputin by associating the two."
Spock was for him quite succinct.
"That conference does not require anything above a Miranda-Class. It is far from any hostile border, even allowing for claims made by the other powers."
Uhura shook her head."I'm unofficially creating a separate secured line between here and Vulcan. Someone, somewhere, with a lot of expertise, saw the call Ambassador Sarek placed to us. Not again, though. Not on my watch."
Scotty was looking his age. While fond of Peter Kirk, his true anger lay in Starfleet interfering in any family's joy. That he knew the afflicted family was only an aggravating factor.
"I'm gonna be hard-wirin' comm's twixt our various stations. If we need to talk, that's a way of doin' it without drawin' untoward attention. If Cartwright and his palsies want to go and play at bein' Edward Longshanks, then Clan Scott can tweak his great nose as well as any Wallace, Bruce or Stewart."
McCoy raised the most troubling thought.
"Jim, The Hall knows. They knew who took Peter, and they don't want you to know--God knows why, with that bunch."
Kirk shook his head.
"The Hall is high-handed, arrogant and more than somewhat xenophobic. But before I believe the sovereign is corrupt, I have to see a lot more. With that said, plot our missions and assignments for the next nine months. We're going to speed some up, and steal some time....."
His next words received no objections.
".....And we're going to see Peter."
Chapter Five - The Beginning.....
EARLY 2279, VULCAN
By way of using the shuttlecraft, newly enhanced with an emergency transporter the top Command Staff of The Enterprise descended to Spock's arid homeworld.
They had taken every precaution. Uhura had locked out her console, but made it look like a malfunction. Sulu had rigged the view-screens to only activate if the great starship was attacked. He also drew up a list of anyone aboard the ship who might be a Hall agent. This paranoid venture unsettled him, but it was necessary. Chekov ordered his security people to be active and visible, so as to deter a 'classified' threat. Scotty had spent the night removing the ship's ability to leave orbit. Spock and McCoy had feigned a large disagreement, the better to keep the appearance of normalcy.
But as always, Captain Kirk found the kicker. As they approached Vulcan's outer systems, he ordered all scanners turned off--then reset to record that they were in orbit above Vulcan. If anyone tried to uncover the deception, they would only find it backed up by truth. T'Pau's words saw to it that no Vulcan port recorded the passage of The Enterprise. Jim had been a victim of 'Family Sundering', a grave concern to Vulcans. So this was done without comment and by her decree alone.
A very tired, very patient young man awaited his friends. His heroes. His family.
"Captain, we are within viewer range of my Father's house."
Jim smiled.
"By all means, Spock."
McCoy let a comment about Spock being sentimental go unsaid. There was always something about one's childhood home, after all. Spock looked onscreen.
"Jim--privacy filters are on. I believe you should see who awaits you in my former room."
Both Jim and Nyota looked, and saw a sight that warmed their hearts. Nyota Uhura felt light inside.
"Jim! Peter and Saavik are talking. They're friends, Jim. Just like you wanted."
With his woman at his side, Captain Kirk viewed this beautiful moment and truly felt as invincible as his own hype.
"They're friends. My children are--friends. They're---They're---just sitting there, staring into each other's eyes. They're- -They're----"
His eyes went wide. As did those of everyone else present.
"What the hell are they doing?"
Nyota said it.
"Jim---I think they're kissing."
The screen went blank, as the privacy filter suddenly kicked in. Kirk sat back.
"He had his hand on her----"
Nyota nodded, also a bit thrown.
"She was going straight for----"
The shuttle landed, and all kept silent on this off-putting development.
Waiting outside the house with the first stable family he had ever known was a young man that literally ran into Jim's arms. The moment was perfect, and would not be marred. Jim squeezed the youngster tight, never wanting to let go.
"My Boy. They Told Me You Were Dead."
For a brief moment, Peter was in such obvious ecstasy that his aversion to holding people other than Saavik was entirely forgotten.
"I Think Maybe I Was--Til Just Now."
The questions and answers and young love would all wait. For now, a miracle had occurred. It was a much-needed new beginning for a father and his son.