I would so like to say that it was Ethan's egging me on, but that would be a lie. Perhaps if we shared more than a distant blood-connection, he'd have that kind of hold on me. But I was curious to ask the spirit about all of its century-old mysteries, and so I greedily invited it in. I then knocked Ethan cold, found a scalpel in an old chest of drawers, and sought them out. It is a sin I suspect I will never be forgiven for.

With the coven's help, I tamed the tiger, but can never truly expel it. My cutesy, tough-guy nickname became so damned accurate in those dark times. I am able to placate the killer by hunting only vampiric prostitutes, like those sought out by Riley Finn. When Buffy hunted the lot of them down, I was nearly livid. But the next town over had a nest. Most towns do, really. The spirit rather likes not having to dispose of the bodies.

My only problem is avoiding paid-for women entirely. It isn't their fault. But this ancient killer, this disease I deliberately caught in my wasted youth cries out to see them destroyed in hideous ways. I so feared that while Buffy had run away, she had fallen into that life. The killer would have waited until the Council's test, then let her die, or made that scenario even more deadly. The First made horrific use of its knowledge of my crimes. Xander was thankfully the only one to notice how truly distracted and 'not there' I was throughout the final battles. It was on a non-stop tear with me, shifting into not only the girls it had taken while in me, but all of the old victims from Whitechapel. I had to act listless, pretend it wasn't there, never respond. I imagined I must have looked like a poor contract player made to show up, lacking all enthusiasm.

Now the taunter is gone, its goal so multidirectional it never thought to tell Buffy my hidden truths. For now, it also seems the killer is exhausted, yet I know how easily he is roused.

=====================

"Mister Giles?"

It was one of the Neo-Slayers, her name at this point hard to remember.

"Yes?"

"Sir, I just wanted to thank you all again for taking us in. The house, this bus. Despite the overcrowding, it sure beats life on the streets."

She sniffled a bit, losing her composure.

"You have *no* idea what I had to do to survive."

===========================

I have since been locked in my room here at the motel for a solid week, doing 'research'. I got the young lady to Buffy, claiming she needed protection from an unknown demon. I only wish it were a lie.

Yours Truly,

Ripper.