(We see Captain Janeway asleep in her quarters; Sitting in a chair in front of her bed is the excrecable Agent Sloane; she sees him and starts)

KJ : Who the hell are you, and what the hell are you doing in my quarters?

AS : Captain, I beamed here from the Alpha Quadrant to say your government needs your help-and to tell you that you will give it. I'm with Section 31.

KJ : Can you get back?

AS : Yes, but it suits our long-term colonization purposes that you remain here. Now, as to your mission...

KJ : (Ignores him) Janeway to Chakotay! We've got a spy who has a long-range transport technology. What are you picking up?

AS : You'll find nothing, of course.

CH : (Audio only) Captain, they piggybacked the beam on the Alpha Qudrant's 'Spitting Quasar'

AS : Ah, but how do we maintain so coherent a beam? Now, may I call you Kath...."

Tuv: (AO) Captain, I believe they are using an existing energy field, fading but artificial in nature.

AS : Captain! (Throws up hands) There must be thousands of such phenomenon. Now, your mission is...

BT : (AO) Yeah, Captain? Its the residue from the relays that the Doctor used to get back home.

KJ : Keep on it, Belanna. Sorry, Sloane, you were saying?

AS : Yes, we used the relays' residue. But, the means and methods are encrypted to such a degree that no one...

SON : Seven here, Captain. I have broken the encryption code and reinstalled new protocols.

AS : That's all well and good. But Section 31 keeps its own counsel, and the amount of variables...

HK : Captain, its Ensign Kim. The zone of transport is pure void, no matter at all. Its a clean shot, all the way home.

Neel: Hey, Captain, just for fun, I recalibrated the shields so that his 'soft underbelly' transport won't work anymore.

TP : Tom here, Captain. I can widen the beam enough to take the whole ship in.

AS : ANYONE ELSE?!!!!

Naomi : Captain, can I suggest running the shuttlecrafts just outside the ship, to cover the blind spots our sensors miss?

KJ : Superior suggestion, Naomi. Doctor, you have anything to add?

Doc: Nothing of import, Captain. But I did use Agent Sloane's beam to download the entire database of Section 31. Whoa! Some very illegal activities here, and the evidence to prove them all!

AS : AAAAAAGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!
(Vanishes)

KJ : Damn. He never did tell me what our mission was. Couldn't have been too important, though. People, how's that transport beam coming?

CH : Unusable, Captain. Anyone who uses it more than once will be converted into a fruit-filled toaster pastry.

KJ : Oh. Well, then, Commander, I'm going back to sleep. G'night.

CH : Goodnight, Captain. Goodnight, Tom.

TP : Goodnight Captain. Goodnight, Commander. Goodnight, Belanna.

BT : Goodnight, Tom. Goodnight, Commander. Goodnight, Captain. Goodnight, Neelix.

Ne: Goodnight, Belanna. Goodnight, Tom. Goodnight, Commander, Goodnight, Captain. Goodnight, Harry.

HK : Goodnight, Neelix. Goodnight, Belanna. Goodnight, Tom. Goodnight, Commander. Goodnight, Captain. Goodnight, Tuvok.

Tuv : Good night, Ensign Kim. Good night, Mr. Neelix. Goodnight, Lieutanant Torres. Goodnight, Ensign Paris. Goodnight, Commander Chakotay. Goodnight, Captain Janeway. Goodnight, Seven. Seven?

(Seven, Naomi, and The Doctor hide in sickbay)

Naomi : They scare me when they get like this.

KJ : Captain's Log : We all learned an important lesson that night. But we were too damned tired to remember what it was, the next day.

ON DS9................

Bashir : Say, what's this on my chair? A Strawberry Pop-Tart? And I'm famished!!!!

Afterwords................

AS : Where am I? What is this place?

Gul Dukat : Hello, Sloane. I've been expecting you.

AS : Dukat...but you're dead.

GD : I've been expecting you...and so has she....BWAAAAHHHAAAAA!!!!!!

Old Navy Woman : Why, Magic, Look! Its Agent Sloane!

AS : NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the cries of the damned continue.....