'Deep Space Rocky Nine' Yo', Emissary!
by Rob Morris
 Q sprawled out on the deck, in his ridiculous-looking 19th Century Boxing Uniform. He looked hurt.

"You hit me--Picard would never have hit me!"

Sisko shrugged.

"I'm not Picard."

Q stood back up, now looking like a mid-late 20th Century boxer. He also altered Sisko's uniform.

"No--but eventually, even he begged me to stop--so will you."

Benjamin Sisko was a brawler, and a brilliant Commander. But he did not know how to take a solid punch to the head from a much stronger opponent. Alive but dazed, he fell. O'Brien fumed.

"You can't do that to him--suit me up!"

But one of O'Brien's assistants stopped him.

"Hey, yo, Chief--I used ta be inta all that. Let me dump on this bum."

Miles knew that the Philadelphia native was not merely boasting, so he nodded.

"Take this chump down hard."

The man entered Q's ring, and his uniform automatically altered. His physique was definitely that of a boxer. Q merely laughed, though.

"You are exactly nothing to me. But to prove a point--I must break you."

The boxer got up in Q's face.

"Go for it."
 
The round began, and Q played rope-a-dope with the human, taunting him as he went.

"You don't give up, do you? You must have a thicker head than Worf!"

The boxer nodded.

"Thanks."

Q began to worry, just a bit. If he used his powers any further than he had, The other Q would know that he could not beat a mere human at his own barbaric game. Sisko saw the insane pounding the boxer was taking.

"Chief--get him out of there."

"No, Commander. Not in a million years."

"That's an order, Mister!"

Miles handed Sisko a duty roster.

"See that name, sir? He's working off his reserve time, here."

Sisko's eyes went wide.

"You mean to tell me that's---him?"

Ben sat back, and prepared to enjoy the fight. Because he knew what was coming.

Q was becoming furious. His pounding had almost no effect on the tough boxer.

"Damn you, why don't you just fall?"

The boxer struck the exhausted Q with a left hook.

"Why don't you, pal? Me, I got better things to do."

Though Q continued to slam the other boxer, the human's counterattack had now begun in earnest. He backed off, and now returned Q's taunts.

"Ay, yo! Mistah Superior Lifeform! You look like my uncle did, after they fished his body outta the river!"

Now merely enraged, and so exhausted that he forgot he ever had powers, Q rushed at the smaller man, roaring. This proved to be his final mistake.

"Ain't you never heard of a haymaker?"

To the astonishment of almost everyone, the boxer's flurry of punches did the impossible. Q fell, completely unconscious. The Continium promptly reclaimed him, for the razzing of an eternal lifetime.

"Hey, Commander--I did it!"

Sisko nodded.

"You sure did."

The Commander held up the boxer's arm before the now-huge crowd, and decided to send Picard a vid of the fight.

"The Winner...And New HeavyWeight Champion Of The Alpha Quadrant -----

ROCKY BALBOA!!!"

It was a defining moment for humanity, when it redefined its limits--and kicked Q's butt!