It was December 24th, 1997. I remember it mainly as the time before the really bad stuff started. After we got rid of that creep Ted, Mom and Buffy finally entered peace-ville. Had to happen eventually, right?

I can taste these rolled almond cookies. Xander complained that he burnt the edges. He told us that the recipe had been taught to him by one of his few aunts living in this reality. It took me a month to find out what he meant. The cookies were great, though. He's way too hard on himself.

I can hear Cordelia complimenting Buffy's wardrobe. Maybe if she spoke in a level voice with no chuckling, her sarcasm wouldn't burn a hole in the floor.

I can feel Mom straightening my clothes for like the jillionth squared time. I can feel her just hugging me for no reason I can figure.

I see someone outside, out of the corner of my eye, dart by the windows, never there when I look, but there nonetheless. I didn't know who Angel was then, but I knew there really was someone.

I smell Willow, which is ridiculous. She doesn't use perfume. But it turns out her Mom sent her a bottle of strawberry shampoo, and it just smells fabulous. I ask her about Chanukah, and she says her family sometimes seems more interested in keeping to symbols than beliefs. But she still wishes people would think and stop wishing her a Merry holiday-she-doesn't-celebrate.

Finally, I can sense my big sister. Yeah, she treats me like a bug that crawled in the window sometimes. But when Ted grabbed my hand and twisted it, she went wild on him. She loves me. It was only after the eggs' thing I found who she really was. She's like this rock, this lighthouse in our lives.

It was our first Christmas in Sunnydale, and I clearly and totally remember that it was everything its supposed to be. Everything they always tell you about, on TV and in the stories.

Makes me wish I'd really been there.