Chapter 1 - Imitation Of Art

Captain Picard had never cottoned well to the notion of having children on board. This was well-known. But he felt he owed them some comfort, after the recent unpleasantness.

One and all, they had been whisked away by a desperate, dying race. These people held the children of The Enterprise with an arrogant dismissiveness that tested even Picard's professional detachment. But, like his boyhood idol, he had passed that test, and pulled off one or two miracles in the process.

Of course, he didn't have some of the more heavy-handed options that his hero, James T. Kirk, had sometimes used. Life, Captain Picard mused, was rarely as simple as it was shown to be on 'Star Trek'. Case in point: The children's many questions, all directed toward him. Jim Kirk always had a 'red shirt' ready to take the really hard blows. Not that a young Jean-Luc didn't dream of being one of those sacrificial lieutenants. Roddenberry's holovids had made space travel seem the ultimate dream. For Picard, it still was.

"Captain, are we gonna be kidnapped again?"

"Oh, I don't think that should ever happen. Those poor people were unique, both in their technology and in their desperation to have children. Plus, we plan to make it clearer to new species we contact that there are certain lines we will not allow to be crossed. You children are those lines. We care for you, and will not permit your discomfort, no matter what."

Picard somehow found pleasure in the now-relaxed smiles of even the very youngest. He recalled that Kirk's character had always liked children, and now he understood why just a little better.

"Why do we go out and search for new people? Some of them get really scary. I mean, why don't we just stay home?"

"That's an understandable impression. After all, those were good people, and they certainly meant you no harm. The truth is, they could have been quite---mean. But we don't know until we meet them, whether they're pleasant or disagreeable. That is why we go out."

"But, Captain. They lied to you. First, they said they were just gonna ask for us to stay, but then they just took us, because they wanted to. When I do that, I get in real big trouble. Why aren't they?"

"We're forgiving them, but we're not forgetting what they did. By no means we will allow them to do that again, rest assured. Now, anyone else?"

"Yes, Captain. I'm scared of the transporter, now. I want to take a shuttlecraft down to Earth. Those people just took us away, with theirs."

"Children, I more than empathize with you. But we are out here, and here we shall remain. It is not a choice that we made for ourselves. When humanity's ancestors first left the caves, they stared out into the infinite depths of...Space, The Final Frontier. These Are The Voyages Of The StarShip Enterprise. Its mission to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations. To Boldly Go Where No One Has Gone Before!"

But still the children were not convinced.

"Nice try, Captain. It almost made me nostalgic for those old holovids-almost."

"Always stick with the classics, Number One--even when they don't work. Tell me, children. Who here still fears the transporter?"

There was an alarming show of hands.

"Very well, then. We are above Earth, now, while your parents assess, in light of recent events,  whether to put the very youngest of you up with relatives during our missions here. To show you the transporter's safety, I shall beam down to StarFleet Headquarters, and then back again. Bridge. Mister LaForge, conditions for transport?"

"There's an ion storm, Captain, caused by sunspot activity. No great shakes. Pure routine, we'll have you down and back again."

Riker smiled.

"Sir, an ion storm! Maybe I should grow a beard while you're away."

"Why, Commander Riker, I thought you felt no nostalgia for those 'Star Trek' holovids. A closet Trekkie, perhaps?"

"Hoisted by my own trivia. Ok, I admit it. I know the combination to Kirk's safe."

 "I, too, found them enjoyable. Though villainously portrayed, Kang, Koloth, and Kor were worthy opponents for Kirk, and he for them. Oh, if only a Kh'retmnskta like him truly existed."

"Interesting term, Mister Worf. If I'm not mistaken, it means "The Enemy Whom We Pray For."

"Very good, Captain. Perhaps if contact between our peoples had been more advanced when those holovids were first made, our portrayal might have been more accurate. But who can say?"

"Kh'retmhorshok? Worf, did I get it right?"

"I am sorry, Commander Riker. But the word you just said means, 'The Cattle Are Dying'. Nevertheless, it is also the name of a very old and respected House."

"Oooh. Captain, care for some company?"

"Hardly, Number One. Its not like I'll be going on an away mission, after all.  Energize."

With that, The Captain left. Right thereafter, the ship shook with a savage fury.

"Riker to Bridge. Data, what the hell was that?"

"An unexpected spike in sunspot activity, Commander. It briefly exaggerated the effects of the Ion Storm."

"I don't like this. Mister O'Brien, pull the Captain back, now."

But life is seldom that straightforward.

Walking the streets of San Francisco towards StarFleet Headquarters was a confused Jean-Luc Picard. The city was intact, but quiet as a tomb. The bustling walks of The City By The Bay were very much empty, an impossibility in the place that housed StarFleet Command.

"Well, at least I'm here, now. StarFleet Command.....United Society Of Planets? Hello! Is this someone's idea of a prank? Last I checked, it was The United League Of Planets."

Oddly, Picard's thoughts turned again to those old holovids, with their deserted duplicate Earths, where Peter Pannish children or thick-brogued Practical Jokers waited around every corner with a punch in the jaw for his hero. But this was not a holovid, at least that the Captain knew of.

"A landmark. I need a landmark. Alright, the statues of The Earth Union Signers should be 200 meters to my right."

Except that they were right in front of him. Now convinced that this was no mere prank or disorientation, Picard walked down the empty, haunted halls of StarFleet HQ to where he knew the Signers' statues should have been. There, he received the shock of his life. He read the familiar single statue's inscription. He knew who the bronzed image was patterned after. He just couldn't figure out why any one would do this.

"To the only Commanding Officer to successfully return a Constitution-Class StarShip after a 5-year mission of Exploration. Remember always the heroism of---James T. Kirk."

"This cannot be. It simply can not be. Q? Are you about? Gloat if you must, but...no, you'd be here by now, rubbing my face in your latest insipid puzzle. It is not Q. But what, then? I know certain things to be true, and this is certainly one of them. I know that Captain James T. Kirk--is a  fictional character!"

For all the logic of that statement, Picard still felt all his senses assaulted by this vast impossibility. He gathered himself, and then came to a decision.

"I do believe its time I sought out the hero of my younger days, and see if he can help me just one more time. Well, in any event, I suppose it beats watching re-runs."

Chapter 2 - Awakening Arthur

Through the impossibly empty streets of San Francisco walked Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Captain Of The USS Enterprise NCC-1701, United League Of Planets. However odd the lack of people felt, though, it was merely the most basic level of unreality that Picard was forced to confront.

"Captain's Log-Verbally spoken, to gather my thoughts in this empty place. Ironically, this is a place I dreamed of coming to, as a child. From 2346 to 2351, I watched avidly the adventures of the heroic James T. Kirk and his intrepid crew. Like many another young person, I wanted to go to that Starfleet, only to find out that while StarFleet was real--Kirk, Spock, McCoy and the others-were not. An avid advocate of space exploration, Admiral Eugene Rodenberry created these holovids, called 'Star Trek', to show what we were missing by continuing to do only limited first contact research. Not all 135 episodes are classics, but the gems shine in the sometimes vapid darkness of holovid viewing. Those vids changed our galaxy, forever, and for the better. But now I find myself in a scenario lifted straight from 'Mirror, Mirror'. But here, I need not fear barbaric dopplegangers. No, here, 'Star Trek' is real, and somewhere to be found is Captain James T. Kirk. As ridiculous as it all sounds, I believe this proves the Mirror-theory, largely discredited by Rodenberry's time. I am not on my own Earth, but its parallel counterpart. If you will, I am upon a new place, an Earth-2."

Just as Dickens' Scrooge knew his boyhood home, so did Jean-Luc Picard know where he would find the man he once believed to be a made-up character.

Everywhere he went, Picard found no people, but symbols of a world that felt its hero-Kirk-could do anything. Then, he found the home he had seen Kirk purchase at the start of The Cycle Four Episodes. Knocking but having no response, he went in.

"Er---Captain Kirk? Captain----Jim?"

In the bedroom, Picard saw two cryo-units. In one, like a mannequin on ice, was his hero. In the other, his hero's wife. She was lovely. He spoke to her frozen form.

"Madam, when I was young, Uhura was to me the loveliest creature ever to grace the holo-screen. You know what? She still is, and not merely for benefit of cryo."

Picard deactivated Kirk's chamber, but release would take 5 minutes. As  he heard voices outside, though, he hid. When they did not come in, he carefully looked outside. His mouth dropped open. There were alien troops on Earth. But not just any group. Picard knew both them and their considerably more honor-driven counterparts in his world. He said one word.

"Klingons!"

Chapter 3 - The Villains' Plan

It was all based on a misunderstanding, thought Picard. A malfunctioning image enhancer during sketchy 1st video contacts with the Klingons had caused people in The United League Of Planets to believe that the aliens looked like an odd variant of certain Terrans of Mediterranean descent. This mistake tied in with the fear generated by the clumsy first clashes with the Klingon Empire, and helped forge a good part of 'Star Trek.'

When Admiral Eugene Rodenberry crafted his holovid masterpiece, he used those Klingons as part of his commentary on Terran-centrism. This opened so many minds, that no one thought twice when the real Klingons turned out to be decidedly non-Terran in appearance. So was a mighty alliance forged. Picard spoke to himself, just to hear another voice.

"These Klingons that roam the streets of your world, Captain, look exactly like those Klingons in the old holovids. And you--look like you."

Picard looked again at the fully clothed man taking a sonic shower. He was James T. Kirk, and Picard was attempting to revive a man he once thought fictional from a cryogenic prison. Outside, a voice boomed, and Picard peeked out.

"Klingon Enforcers, Sector 001. Report."

Picard knew the man on the screen. His name was Simon, and he was one of the top lieutenants to Khan Noonien Singh.

"There is nothing to report, as always, and we do not care for your tone of voice. Remember who brought your Master Khan out of Kirk's exile."

"YOU Remember, whose plan it was that now has Romulus as part of your realm, Klingon!"

"In my world, Jim, Khan Noonien Singh was killed shortly after The EugenicsWars' ended. In the vids, and in real-life here, he survived, to menace you in your different episodes."

Finally, Picard saw the great man revive.

"Where am I  Where is  my wife?, Who are you?"

"Commander Uhura is fine, sir. But for right now, all you need to know is this: Klingons, working together with Khan, have managed take over the World. Right now, your United Society Of Planets needs you most of all, and I can tell you how."

A tired, still not quite coherent Kirk looked up, and saw where he was standing.

"Why do these things always come up while I'm in the shower?"

"I couldn't tell, you, Captain. But I sympathize."

Chapter 4 - The Stuff Of Legends

"Captain's Log : Having arrived on this alternate world, this Earth-2, I have managed to revive Captain James T. Kirk, a man, who, until just a few short hours ago, I thought was a fictional character in a holovid. But it seems both he and his world are quite real. More, I must explain to The Captain who I am,  who he is to me, and what has seemingly become of his Earth. For all my supposed professional detachment, though, I find I am again a young man, sneaking to my friend Tomas's house to watch the forbidden holovids my father was so certain would corrupt my mind. In that I rose to become Captain of the true, or should I say, of my Enterprise, it would seem his fears were well placed. I am always in awe of my Galaxy-Class vessel, each time I see it.     But that first time, as Tasha rode that shuttle in, I must confess I was hoping its shape would be a trifle more familiar. The nature of the beast, I suppose. Just as the advanced communicators on 'Star Trek' inspired the even more  compact combadges we now sport, so did the design of Kirk's Enterprise inspire our engineers to go even further. Besides, I now realize that that ship is his ship. It should belong to no one else."

"Captain's Log : I'd like to say I just woke up from a long winter's nap. But that winter was the winter of our discontent. While I slept in enforced cryo—for 10 years, it would seem, an alliance of Klingons and Khan's OverMen has taken over the Earth. Something is odd, though. If what this Captain Jean-Luc Picard tells me is true, there are no signs of a struggle. Buildings, including StarFleet Command, stand intact. There is something else, as well. Picard so far refuses to tell me what he's Captain of. Further, he keeps looking at me like I'm Kal-El, from the old 'Last Son' holovids. Right now, though, my chief concern is awakening my wife. Looking at her incredible beauty, and knowing so well the inner charm and grace, I think what a fool I was to have our first kiss forced on me by an alien puppet-master. Janice left to pursue the Command Track. Dr. Lester went insane. Carol died, giving our son off to relatives who have no intention of telling David who his father is. The best thing that ever happened to me was sitting less than a meter away. If Peter hadn't played matchmaker during one of his 3 visits, we would have drifted apart, or worse, remained a meter away. Nyota Uhura is no secretary, and she is no little wifey waiting for the hero to return. She is my heart."

"Jim?"

"Easy, honey. We've been in cryo."

"How?"

"I was kind of hoping our rescuer could tell us--Captain Picard, just what are you Captain of?"

"That--is difficult. I am Captain Of The USS Enterprise, registry NCC-1701, but it is no Enterprise you have ever seen or heard of. You see, the first time I ever heard of James T. Kirk was watching a holovid entitled, 'The Man Trap'."

Kirk was a bit thrown by the use of the word 'holovid' in describing a scene from his own life. Picard's explanation, though, would only become more outlandish, while remaining completely true.

Chapter 5 - Jean-Luc - The Boy, The Fan

Jean-Luc Picard faced an almost surreal dilemma. He had to explain reality to a man that wasn't real. More precisely, he had to explain to James T. Kirk about the alternate reality Jean-Luc came from. On his world, his 'Earth-1', Kirk and his ship and his crew were not the stuff of StarFleet legend—they were fiction. Waiting for Picard's explanation with Kirk was Nyota Uhura, the officer Kirk married in 'Star Trek's' final episode.

"First, I want you both to know, that, while some thought your marriage a cheap plot contrivance, I fully supported it. To me, it seemed like a good extrapolation of an unspoken passion."

Uhura gently shifted her eyes back to her husband, the confusion in her mind evident to Kirk, if not Picard.

"Er, thank you, Captain Picard. To Jim and myself, it always seemed like—a marriage!"

Picard chuckled, and spoke a quote.

"At the time, it seemed The Logical Thing To Do."

Both Picard's hosts froze at that. Obviously, these holovids were very thorough and quite intrusive. Kirk moved to speak.

"Um---er---our honeymoon wasn't depicted onscreen, was it, Captain?"

"Not that I'm aware, though obviously there's always fanf---no, not at all."

Uhura needed to sit.

"Anything wrong, Nita?"

"I'll be okay, doll. I'm just trying to remember how many times I may have bent over in five years' time."

Picard spoke without thinking.

"Sixty-seven---Merde."

"Jean-Luc?"

"Yes, Captain?"

"Could you please tell me how these holovids came into being? Our life is no mere program, and this coincidence ranges into a realm, frankly....."

Picard finished for him.

"Where No Man Has Gone Before?"

Kirk's eyes darted back to his wife. Picard was starting to scare them.

"Yeah. Something like that."

"Well, the holovids were the brainchild of Admiral Eugene Roddenberry. You see, humans were on the verge of withdrawal from space exploration. To prevent this, Roddenberry made his vids. They were wildly, even galactically popular, and, in 2366, to celebrate the final episode, The United League Of Planets was formed. It was of course modeled after your own United Society Of Planets. Those vids changed everything in our world, and very much for the better, might I add."

Kirk had a rush of intuition. Though he and Uhura were not bonded like Vulcans, she was quick to pick up on his thought.

"Captain Picard, where did this man Roddenberry come from, and where is he today?"

"That...is one of the great mysteries of my world, Captain Kirk. He disappeared after 'Star Trek' was done. It was later discovered that his records and credentials were expert forgeries. He came out of nowhere, and then he returned there, along with his wife."

Uhura nodded at Kirk. Something was beginning to click for them. She spoke next.

"Captain Picard..."

"Jean-Luc."

"Nyota."

"Jim."

Picard's face lit up.

"I can call you Jim? That's....what was your question, Nyota?"

"Could you describe the rough physical appearances of Roddenberry and his wife?"

Picard did, and the couple nearly burst out laughing. Jean-Luc was confused.

"I fail to see what's so funny. They were hardly odd in appearance."

Jim gathered himself.

"Sorry, Jean-Luc. But---your Admiral Roddenberry is, we believe, actually an old friend of ours. We'll talk more--back in your world."

Jean-Luc shook his head.

"Captain, I'm not even sure how I got here. Besides, what's needed in my world?"

"Safe haven. We don't know where that would be here, with the Khan/Klingon alliance having taken over. Honey, you think you can use his communicator to call his people? We need a lift."

Uhura swiped Picard's combadge, and affected a mock Scottish brogue.

Its an hour job, Cap'n. But I'll have it for you in 15 minutes. First, a bit of fun..."

For a full minute, the two locked lips like they were glued together. Then, the woman who could do with comm circuitry what Spock could do with sentient clouds poked and prodded the nano-technology.

"I've got them!"

She handed the combadge off to a stunned Picard. He spoke into it.

"Number One?"

"Captain! Sir, we were trying random frequencies through the dimensional rip you beamed into. Its a miracle we got you so soon. Captain Picard, are you all right?"

"Quite fit, Will. Can you get me out?"

"This is Data, Captain. The rip is actually quite stable, and seems artificial in nature. We can get you out quite easily."

"Very good. Wait for one moment."

Kirk nodded.

"I'm impressed, Jean-Luc. A very efficient crew. But then, I'd expect nothing less of the crew of The StarShip Enterprise."

Uhura looked about.

"Gentlemen--transmissions have a way of being detected. I suggest we beam to the other world with dispatch."

"You heard the boss, Jean-Luc. You've seen our ship--let's see yours."

"Let's make it so, then. Number One--Three to beam back."

"Three, Captain? Is there anything I should know about this situation?"

"Will, you know how you like the movies and jazz work of Woody Allen?"

"Yes, sir. What about it?"

Picard looked at his new friends. He was still taken aback by it all.

"Number One, think 'The Purple Rose Of Cairo', and beam all three of us home--to The Enterprise."

After all three of them were gone, Klingons and OverMen burst in.

"Inform Lord Khan! Kirk has escaped!"