HIGHLANDER - IN COLOR

STARRING ADRIAN PAUL AS DET. DUNCAN MACLEOD

(We see DM breaking into a room, there are cops playing poker)

ALSO STARRING CHRISTOPHER LAMBERT

(We see Connor swinging from tree to tree, only to find there is no vine)

Special Guest Star: Stan Kirsch

(Richie falls out the window and into a giant fan blade; DM throws up his arms when the Q affects the TV)

TONIGHT'S EPISODE: Narrator: Comes A Horseman (On Screen: Kronos Strikes)

DM: I was investigating several dead bodies found at the local cemetery when I got a call to go to 35B East Riverside. As usual, Connor was already there.

CM: (Holds up severed head) Hey, Duncan, whaddya make of this?

DM: Oh, a planter, a nut tray, I dunno.

CM: Nah. More of an umbrella stand. So what do you think happened?

DM: I'd stake my reputation that this man was murdered--and pretty recently, at that.

CM: My thoughts exactly. Now, let's say we interrogate the suspect.

DM: Ok.

C+DM: We interrogate the suspect.

DM: The suspect's name was Methos. He was an old guy. So old he knew just who put the bomp in the bomp-a-bomp-abomp.

Methos: I tell yez, I didn't do it! Me, I'm outta the game.

Cassandra: He's loing, Duncan! He was there! Back 3000 years ago, he was one of da Horsemen! They treated me horribly!

DM: Just what did he do?

Cass: We went out, and then he never called back.

(DM strangles Methos)

DM: You unspeakable cad!

CM: (To Cass) Cigarette?

Cass: Yes, it is.

Desk Sgt: Hey, Dunc! Amanda on Line 2!

DM: (Still strangling Methos) Tell her I'm not here.

CM: Hey, Duncan! Don't you think you've done enough to this guy?

DM: (Walks away) You're right.

CM: (Starts strangling Methos) All right you, talk!

Meth: Ackk!!Gagarggh! Plsiejhhnhackkk!!

DM: You shoulda said that earlier, and we woudna gone so rough on ya.

DM: (We see his car driving backwards) I decided to head on down to the submarine base, using Methos tip. Along the way, I stopped at Joe's, to see what he knew.

JD: Sorry, Macleod. But the Four Horsemen are only a legend.

(Mac slips him 20)

JD: (Whispering) Kronos is planning to erase all written copies of Stephen King's The Stand, so only the ABC Miniseries will be known.

(DM leaves, the President enters)

Clinton: What does Starr have on me?

JD: Sir! Who knows?

(Another 20)

JD: He has BUBCUS!!! But you have to give him a way to exit gracefully.

(Down at the submarine base, Kronos has been stopped)

DM: Well, I guess you'll have to plot to destroy the world from Statesville Prison!

Kronos: Methos, brother! How could you betray me?

Meth (Holding Cass) Because, my brudder, I loves this little girl, and she even forgave me once I explained how you ditched her phone number.

Cass: Oh, Methie!

Kronos: Oh, my plans are ruined! Who ever heard of gangs or plots in a prison?

DM: Well, I guess it just goes to show you, Kronos...the best laid plans of Mice and Horsemen often go astray!

(For some reason, all except Kronos laugh; They freeze; Kronos escapes, but can't get out of the scene)

Kronos: Hey!!! Anyone!!!

(No matter which way he runs, as the credits roll, he is still trapped)

Narrator: Highlander is a Rysher/Davis Production

Kronos (Screaming) I'M STUCK OUTSIDE OF TIME!!!!!!