(We see DM come out in front of the sub base set)

DM: Hi. Welcome to The Making of CAH/Rev. I'm your host, Duncan MacLeod. A lot of you out there seem to think that putting together an epic saga like this one is child's play. But nothing could be further from the truth.

(We see some poor schmoe kneeled before Old West Kronos)

PS: Koren, please, I toldja where I hid all the money!

K: (Sword comes down, we see blood spatter) Just one more withdrawal, my boy.

DM: Now, some of you may think: Big deal, so they killed another schmoe who cooperated with the Kimmie. Ooh, how original! But in fact, we didn't kill him.

K: (Walks up) That's right, Duncan. Bcause on TV, nothing looks more fake than real blood.

DM: And don't think that we can just run down to Sev for a Cherry Slurpee.

(Scene with DM and the Four throwing paint, syrup, cherry juice, etc, against a white wall)

DM: We had to go through over one hundred TV blood substitutes, just to find the one type that made that scene perfect. After all, if Kronos offed that fool and it looked fake--we could lose the whole episode.

K: And the day hardly ends there.

DM: I wish. Next comes the critical scene where Kronos confronts Methos for the first time in millennia.

K: (Stabs Methos) Hello, Brother!

DM: Cut!! Kronos, what the hell kind of knife is that?

K: Bowie.

(Methos writhes in agony)

DM: I don't see you using this.

(Pulls knife out)

M: Aaarghh!!!

DM: Here, try this Kali-looking one. Places!!

K: Hello Brother!

(Stabs him; Shakes his head, and pulls it out)

M: Aahhhaahh!!

K: No, its just not me.

(We see a huge pile of bloody knives)

DM: The day went on and on. Methos was a bit unprofessional. At one point, he took nearly an hour to revive.

K: Here is my private collection of Duncan's heads. That's right--plural. I need to keep A LOT of these plaster casts around! Why, you ask?

DM: Simple. If we're in a Horsemen-oriented fanfic, guess whose ponytail gets trimmed?

K: Hint, Hint!

DM: Another Horseman is big, dumb Silas. Right? WRONG!!!

(We see a very serious looking Silas, gesturing toward the monkey cage set)

Silas: The relationship between my character and the monkeys is a critical one. A lot rides on the sympathy that briefly takes over Methos' eyes when I ask if I can keep one.

M: I just kind of rolled my eyes, is all.

DM: Now, Caspian has not been a full-time Horseman for some years, now.

K: That's right, Duncan. He's grown far too ruthless to be trusted. He's now completely demented. Watch this.

(We see a courtroom, and Caspian is giving closing arguments)

Caspian: So, in conclusion, Let me say that there is no evidence at all linking tobacco use with cancer. None at all.

K: Scary stuff. But he came through for these episodes. A real trooper

DM: That's it for this special look into the making of CAH/Rev. Next time any of you write in, saying how easy HL:TS is to make, just remember:

K: We can always make more of these lame SPFX specials.

DM: (Grim look) And next time, we get Mark Hamill to host.

K: He's not bluffing, you know! He'll do it.

(Closing credits)

K: I AM SOUR CREAM AND CHIVES!!!

(CUT)

K: SUPPORT THE MARCH OF DIMES!!!

(DM laughs)

(CUT)

K: GOTTA CATCH EM' ALL!!!

(Methos shakes his head)

K: PARSLEY, SAGE, ROSEMARY AND TIME!!!

DM: YOU'RE NOT GOING TO SCARBOROUGH FAIR!!

(All laugh, Cass raises her skirt, giggles, credits end with DM looking at ponytailed head)

DM: Alas, poor Duncan. I knew me well!

(Tosses it over shoulder)

DM: HIKE!!