October 26, 2000
"Cordelia recommended this place, before she left for LA, and I have to admit, it is nice. Way overpriced, but the people aren't jerks, and this is a slow time of day. I needed to be somewhere that everyone from Willow to Spike wouldn't ever think to find me, and this restaurant qualifies."
"Its all a lie. Everything I remember about Dawn is a great, big, freaking lie. I know those monks served the good, but I hope they at least have a woodshed in Heaven. They made her a part of my life, a part of all our lives."
"To make matters worse, before she got sick, Mom decided to use Dawn as a kind of leash on me. Don't slay in front of the little dear. Okay, Joyce. And don't you cook, clean, or volunteer in front of her. Yeah. Newsflash. Send Jimmy out with Superman, and eventually, Lex gets ideas. Sometimes I get the idea that maybe she's not as okay with my being a Slayer as she says. Is my Mom secretly like Willow's? God, I hope not. Hmm. Wonder if the little witch told her big witch about Tara? My sources say no."
"Take Tara for example. Her introduction into Willow's life threw us off. Given Willow's upbringing, there almost had to be some surprises in store. It really threw me off at first, sure, though Tara is nice, and doesn't have crazy people calling her a fake. But in Dawn's case, I still feel like we've been invaded. Its not her fault. But she is Chuck Cunningham, in reverse and for real."
"The food is good. Sometimes, you have to pay 300% just to get a full 100%. Dawn is going to be that kind of effort. I mean, our lives have been raped, and she's the result. I am so angry over this righteous manipulation, but Dawn needs me, and I'd like to be there for her. I just don't know if I can love the tornado that rearranged our most personal property. Nothing got broken--but the wind is cold, and I'm afraid-of everything this implies. I didn't have a sister, and now I do."
"In the middle of it all--all being my weepy mental whining--in walks this total Princess. She looks like she was born the way Cordelia wished she would be one day. And she carries it off, like she has Audrey Hepburn's Quickening, or somesuch. Kind of like Dawn, I want to hate her on sight, but I can't. She has the presence. And she's walking towards me. What she has to say ratchets this week into gears I don't even like to think about."
---------------------------------------------"Hello. Its been a while, hasn't it? I'd lambaste you for coming in here, but there's no way you could have known I stop here four times a year. Its funny, how right now you don't look so fearsome. But believe it or not, I'm glad to see you, sister. Because I'm approaching a major turning point in my life, and I want your guarantee that you are not about to introduce yourself into our lives once again. The wounds are still fresh. You breezed into town, and for a while, it was like you had always been there. But then Mother had her troubles, all caused by you. You were a whiny brat, but I had to be nice to you. Whenever I tried to say what you were, everyone told me to calm down. All while you plotted our destruction."
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"My nerves told me then and there to reach for a stake. My instincts didn't. Is this woman an aftereffect of the monks' spell? Am I generating unknown families across the globe? To hear her tell it, I'm Dawn in her world. Only with a heapin helpin of the Cornfield Kid from the Twilight Zone. I decided to say the obvious."
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"Look, I have no idea what it is you're talking about. I don't even know you."
"Don't you? If I weren't so very used to your endless lies, I'd happily and cheerfully move on. Mother's private detectives have you in Florida, not California. But if it is you--the older sister who betrayed me—then I have to let it all loose now."
"Okay--okay. Why don't you tell me what it is I've done? Maybe I took a blow to the head---I mean a very recent one."
"You honestly want the whole litany? Because make no mistake, I will let you have it with both barrels."
"But at least then I'd know what the hell you're talking about."
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"This seemed to faze her a little bit. But if she was some sort of spell-byproduct, I guess she had no choice but to tell her story, the way some villains have to tell their master plan. Or should I say their big plan? Ixnay on the M word."
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"Mother hired you as a helper. You lied, and said you had been living on the streets. Mother is not always the easiest of employers, as you found out. Under false pretext, you literally took me for a ride. Mother and her then-current husband called your parents in Florida. Your adoptive parents, it turns out. Imagine Mother's surprise when she learned that you were the baby she gave up at 14, after she'd been raped."
---------------------------------------------"Hello. Dawn's history involves a bit of jumping around, sure. But this chick? What, did the monks cast a prototype spell? If so, then they should have left Jacqueline Susann and Harold Robbins out of it."
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"Mother tried to gently inform you that we couldn't be family. That while she bore you no ill will, how you were conceived was too painful for her to be reminded of, which happened every time she saw you. That's when you began the plotting. You convinced her that her husband--possibly the finest man I've ever known, after my own father--had raped you. She stabbed him, and was almost sent away as a result of your perjury. Then you had the nerve to bring your rapist father back to town, to harass her again."
"Wait. If I knew he was a rapist, why'd I even go near him? There's vengeful and then there's just plain stupid."
"You were delusional. You didn't believe the story Mother told of how you were born. You hated her too much for rejecting you, and giving you away when you were born."
"I don't sound terribly stable, then. If your Mom was 14, what else was she supposed to do?"
"If I may continue? You finally did believe--when you found him coming after me. He died soon after. But I can still feel his slimy hands. I will always feel them, and so will Mother."
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"At this point, my head was going everywhere at once. No matter what spell I might be under, am I capable of leaving a kid near a molester? No. I may not know 'My True Self', like that dream said. But I have lines. Maybe to save the world. But not in a snit. Not like this girl's sister."
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"Look--I'm not your sister. I may look like her--but I'm not. And I think, just based on what I'm hearing, that you're lucky for that. She sounds bad nutsy-cuckoo dangerous. Besides, wouldn't she be much older than me?"
"No. Women in our family hold their age very well. But could I ask you a favor? Even if you aren't her--just say two words to me?"
"I'm sorry."
"How did you know those were the words?"
"My guess is, she didn't say them, too terribly often--probably never to you."
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"With that, she left, still looking very much The Princess. Still in all, I thought certain she was part of the spell, until I spoke to Willow and Tara two days later. Slap---does not even begin to describe it."
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"Be with you in a minute, Buff. Tara's just upgrading her Celebrity-Out File."
"Oh? And here I thought Jesse Helms had an ironclad disguise."
"Which will be penetrated, one day. Willow--get the news clippings. I promised the site-owner I'd send them by pic-mail."
"So who's making room in the closet?"
"Her name's Bianca Montgomery. A model--and the daughter of uber-Celeb Erica Kane. The clip I'm sending is of her in 94' with her half-sister, a little nightmare named Kendall Hart."
"Hey, Buff! Does the older sister remind you of anyone?"
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"It was a forced photo-op. There they both were. The Princess I spoke with last week and her way-way familiar sister. Did a net check. Everything Bianca said to me was true--and then some. About the only decent thing Kendall Hart did was stopping the little girl's rape and leaving that town. If I ever thought Cordelia was bad, I need only look at that laundry list. The difference between Nellie and Nancy Olsen. Even Faith....no, let's not go there."
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"BUFFY!! My Tennis Class? We're going to be late! Why do I have to have such an inconsiderate sister?"
"Dawn-you could do a lot worse."
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"Buffy? This is Giles. As soon as you get this message, come and see me. There is a vampire in this area with a face that is a near perfect match for your own. Her name is...."
Dedicated to the memory of a messy, staked-through Crossover called 'All My Children Of The Night', which I finally put to rest with this short.
-- Rob Morris